You're my home
by GreyAllTheWay
Summary: Arizona fell in love with Amelia slowly, piece by piece. But Amelia is a newlywed, and the wounds of Arizona's divorce still ring back sometimes, so what can she do?
1. Chapter 1

The halls of the Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital were quiet as Arizona was heading to the ER. It was an early morning and she had rounded on her patients, so now she was heading down to see if there were any emergencies. Owen was sitting behind a desk surrounded by papers with worried eyes.

"Good morning, Dr. Hunt," said Arizona in her usual perky voice. "How are you?"

"I am a bit worried," he said, finally looking up from his paperwork. "ER is quiet. Never a good sign."

Arizona looked around, behind her. It was truly quiet, besides a couple of patients getting stitched up by interns. "Indeed," she said. "So how's being newlywed?" she asked, changing the subject.

"It's good… challenging," he answered. Arizona gave him a puzzled look. "I mean Amelia is great, no doubt there. It's different, you know? Dating or marriage. Marriage is commitment."

"Yes, I know," Arizona replied, as her mind briefly flew back to when she used to be married. Her train of thoughts was interrupted by the sound of a phone call.

"Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital," Hunt answered. His eyes became vigilant. Arizona already knew what this meant. "Alright, thank you." He put the phone down and turned to Arizona. "Trauma coming in. Car accident, 3 wounded. They said there was also a kid. So you go out and wait for them, I'll page the rest."

"Alright," Arizona answered as she was already running to the entrance. "Silence is never a good sign around here," she told herself.

As she was waiting outside, the door opened and Amelia stood next to her, putting her gloves on. "What happened?"

"Car accident, 3 casualties," Arizona said.

"Quiet ER, huh?" Amelia asked as they heard the ambulances approaching.

"Quiet ER."

They both ran towards the first ambulance, opening its doors.

"Tim Johnson, 11, massive head injury," started the paramedic. "Pulse stable."

"Alright, let's take him to Trauma 1," said Amelia and they took him in, as the other doctors were running out and the ambulances arriving in.

Once they were inside the trauma room, they hooked him up to machines and started working. Arizona checked his vitals while Amelia was working on his head wound.

"Vitals are stable, nothing serious," announced Arizona turning to Amelia. "His injury?"

"This one's quite something, but I can handle it. We need to take him up to CT to get a clear image."

"Good."

Right as they started moving, the patient woke up. Confused and disoriented, he asked, "Where am I? What happened?"

"You were in a car accident, but you'll be fine. We'll fix you up just right," Arizona said with her soft and kind voice. It made the kid calm down considerably. Smiling to herself, Amelia said, "Okay, let's move."

As they entered the elevator and waiting to move up, Tim asked once again, with the same disoriented look, "Where-where am I?"

Amelia shot a serious worried look at Arizona. "You're in a hospital, you suffered a car accident. But don't worry, it's all good, we'll make sure you'll be okay," said Amelia, trying to calm him down. It worked, but now she was even more worried than at the beginning. After they exited the elevator, Arizona asked Amelia almost to a whisper, "What could that be? Loss of memory from such a wound?" Truthfully, the wound wasn't so bad that it could cause memory loss, but who knew?

"I don't know, it could also be shock. Or just short term memory loss. We have to analyze his chart, maybe he suffers from short term memory loss. If it's not, it's defiantly surgical. Let's see the scans."

They placed Tim on the CT bed and left the room to go see the images. After they sat down and actually had a chance to breathe, Amelia noticed Arizona had a lost look. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing just… my brother's name was Tim. He died on the battle field. It's… it's nothing but sometimes these little things just come back and I have to shake them away, you know?"

Amelia knew exactly what she was talking about. With the number of men she'd lost in her life, she had become almost used to those feelings. "I know how you feel. I use to just try to forget by burring myself in work or such," she said. "But they do pass after time; you have to let them go. Otherwise, we can't move on." Arizona nodded wiping away a few tears that rolled down her cheek. "Hey, it's okay," Amelia said, putting her hand on Arizona's. "I'm here if you want to talk, alright?" Arizona looked up to her and smiled. A sad smile, but she was grateful.

"Thank you, Amelia. I know you have your own trouble, you don't need to hear mine too," she said, keeping her hand under Amelia's soft touch. She didn't want her to take it away; it was comforting and it made her feel better somehow. But Amelia did take it away eventually, a moment Arizona actually dreaded.

"Oh, don't say that. It's good to take my mind off my stuff."

"If you don't mind me asking, how's marriage?"

"It's new and certainly interesting. First fights appear and dealing with them is… it's something."

"Yes, I know. It is. Are you… not sure about it?"

Amelia's eyes were troubled. "No, I mean, it's great and Owen's an incredible guy. I'm just not sure if… if we're made for marriage."

"Amelia, you proposed to him."

"I know and I do love him, but I don't think I make a good wife. I don't think I know how to handle marriage."

"I know these doubts, but Amelia, if you love him you have to make this sacrifice, to learn how to be a wife and share your life with someone. Marriage isn't something only one of you builds and the other one just watches. You both have to work your way through arguments and decisions. It's a challenge, but if you love him, it's a challenge you will figure out in the end." All along her speech Arizona didn't take her eyes off Amelia, and neither did she. Even after she stopped talking, they still looked at each other for a couple of seconds before the scans finally appeared on the screen. They both turned to the screen and studied the problem they were facing.

"He's bleeding. If we're not going in now, he'll bleed to death," said Amelia.

"I'll book an OR and page you in it. Get him ready," said Arizona, as they both stood up.

"Alright and page Edwards for me. Oh, Arizona?" She stopped and looked at her again.

"Yes?"

"Thank you," she said, smiling shortly.

"Anytime, Amelia," she replied, also giving her the super magic smile.

The surgery was intense, but they managed to save the boy and now he was in the ICU. Before going home, Arizona went to check on him. Since everything was alright and Edwards was on-call, she could go home. She went in the attending's lounge and she found April. Just the one she wanted to talk to.

"Hey, April," she said sitting down beside her. Her voice was low, not happy, as it usually was.

"Hi, what's going on?" April smiled to her, but she dropped her smile as soon as she saw the uneasy look on Arizona's face.

"I have to tell you something." Arizona's eyes were staring at the floor. Finally, she looked up at her friend and said, "I think I'm in love with Amelia Shepherd."


	2. Chapter 2

April watched Arizona with widened eyes, almost in shock. "Amelia Shepherd? You mean Amelia _Hunt_?"

"Okay, don't say that, she didn't change her name."

"You know what I mean! She's a married woman! What's gotten into you?" said April, who's tone became like a teacher's that disciplined her student.

"I know, but it's not my fault. I mean, it just happened. Ever since the Herman case, I've started liking her more and more and yesterday it just clicked all of a sudden," said Arizona innocently.

"Arizona, you have to work this out with yourself. You can't be in love with her. She's a newlywed. She's starting a life with Owen," replied April to Arizona who was now staring at the floor again. "And you… you have to move on from Callie, you have to find someone and be happy as well." Arizona put her face in her hands and stayed quietly. April pulled her closer in her embrace. "It will be fine. Give it some time."

"Thanks, April," said Arizona. "Wait, hold up. What are you even doing in the hospital? You're supposed to be home, with your baby. Where _is_ your baby?"

"Relax, she's home with Jackson. I came to check on a patient," said April in a relaxed tone.

"Home with Jackson you say. So you guys worked it out?"

"We're trying. Right now we're just sharing our parent duties. He helps me a lot. He's very good father."

"That's good, I'm happy," replied Arizona, smiling at her friend.

After talking to April, Arizona went downstairs to pick up her girl from daycare. Sofia was staying with her for a few months. When she entered, she saw Meredith and Maggie picking up Zola, Bailey and Ellis.

"There you are," said Meredith. "I thought I had to pick up Sofia."

"No need, but thank you," said Arizona. "Hello baby girl, how are you?" Arizona asked her child.

"Mommy!" Sofia said as she jumped in the embrace of her mother. "I played with Zola and Bailey today," she said, in her cheerful kid voice.

"That's very good. Let's go home now, shall we?"

"Yes!"

They said their goodbyes and headed home. After Arizona fed her and spent time with her daughter, she put her to sleep. Feeling the need to relieve the pressure from today, she poured herself a glass of wine and thought about Amelia Shepherd and how she could actually stop thinking about her. Failing to do so, she considered going to sleep would be the best solution.

Just like the other day, Arizona arrived to work early and after leaving Sofia in daycare, she went to round on her patients, especially on yesterday's one, Tim. As she made her way to his room, she saw her in there, already checking on him. Before going in, she took a deep breath and put her smile on.

"Good morning, Tim," she said to her patient. "Dr. Shepherd," she turned to Amelia, not failing to give her the magic smile. "How are we this morning?"

"He's stable, no complications. He's just fine," said Amelia, smiling in return. "Healing, isn't that right Tim?"

"That's right, doctors." The boy seemed to be truly fine. His voice was sleepy, but other than that sounded well.

"Very well, then. I'll come in later to check on you again, alright?" asked Arizona. Tim nodded and the doctors made their way out of the room.

"Arizona, I want to thank you again for talking to me yesterday about Owen. It worked and-", Amelia was saying before she got interrupted by the beeping of her pager. "Well, they need me. I'll tell you about it later," she said as she was already leaving towards her emergency.

Arizona kept her smile on, but as soon as the brunette turned the corner it washed away. So, it worked; they were happy again. Arizona couldn't help but feel sad for a minute before shaking her head and being happy for the couple. Happy she could help. It's the least she could do for Amelia. Be there for her. Sometimes, that was enough for Arizona.

She worked all day, burying herself in cases, forgetting about Amelia. When the lunch break came she didn't feel like eating. Mainly because she figured Owen and Amelia might be there, holding hands happily and laughing. Again, she was happy for them, but didn't feel like seeing that. Instead she went down to daycare to stay with her daughter for a bit. But to her surprise, the last person she expected to see there was standing next to Zola and Bailey. Instead of happily holding hands with Owen and laughing, Amelia was playing with her niece and nephew. The way she was smiling at them made Arizona weak for a second, thinking how good of a mother she would be. Or will be. Before getting time to think how she would action, Sofia spotted her and ran to greet her. At the sound of Arizona's cheerful voice, Amelia turned around to see the blonde hugging her daughter tight. To that image she smiled unconsciously and woke to reality when Bailey climbed in her lap.

"Hello Dr. Shepherd," the blonde greeted Amelia.

"Arizona. No lunch today?"

"No, I felt like spending time with happy kids for a bit. How about you?" _You didn't want to spend time with him?_ She asked herself. But it was too much already, so she quit the thought.

"The same. After craniotomies and aneurysms you want to see something happy like this," she replied, looking at the happy kids.

"That is true. So Owen," Arizona started.

"Right, Owen. Well we talked last night and I think we might be going on a good path," she answered. Arizona smiled, nodding to her. "It seems like you really have experience."

"I do and I'm happy to help," she said, starting to force her smile so she just lowered her head to her daughter.

"Mommy, I want to show you what I did today," Sofia said bringing a piece of paper.

"Show me." After she showed her a drawing, Arizona congratulated her for it and Sofia asked in more of a quieter voice, "Mommy, can we talk to Mama today?"

Arizona smiled to her child and said softly, "Sure we can. She'd be happy to hear from us." Sofia chuckled and went to play with Zola.

"How are things with Callie?" asked Amelia, turning to her, still holding Bailey.

"It's good. We talk almost every day. She said she's happy and so are we. Everything's good," Arizona said in her most sincere words, even if it didn't seem that way. She tried to make it as honest as she could.

"That's good, you know? That you can talk to and about her freely."

"Yeah, well it's been a while. You figure out these things as you go," Arizona said, looking down again.

"Right, I hope I don't have to, though," Amelia responded, laughing. Arizona also started laughing, but more at the irony of her situation than at what Amelia said.

Saving her from the awkward silence, Arizona's pager started to go off. "Alright then, see you around," she said to Amelia. "Sof, honey, I have to go, but I'll see you tonight, okay?"

Sofia nodded to her mother and hugged her before going back to playing with the kids. She smiled one more time to Amelia and Bailey and then ran to the emergency. The emergency was Tim and before she entered his room she shook her head to get rid of all of the distractions. The past, the future and the inevitable.

"What happened?" she asked making her way to Tim's bed.

"He was fine then all of a sudden she started crashing," Edwards said.

"Get me the paddles. Starting compression," she announced as she started trying to restart his heart. "Tim, you're not leaving us. You won't join my Tim, stay with me," she said. As a nurse handed her the paddles, she gave the orders to charge the shocks to 200. "Clear." One shock and nothing. "Tim, I mean it. Charge to 250!" Two shocks and no change. After the third, he regained a weak pulse. "Alright, let's get him up to the OR. Let his parents know for me, Edwards. Then scrub in."

"The dad's in surgery after a heart complication and the mother is sleeping." Arizona looked at her and it was enough for Edwards to understand. "I'll wake her, then." Arizona nodded and stepped out to take the patient up to the OR. "Oh, and someone please let know Dr. Shepherd of this."

"I got it!" replied Edwards, already on her way.

After she scrubbed in and made the first cuts, Amelia barged in the OR. "What happened?"

"He collapsed. I brought him back, but I'm not sure how much his heart can take more."

"Dr. Robbins, are you good?" Amelia asked making sure she wasn't emotionally involved.

"Yes, I'm on it."

"Arizona." She looked up from her patient and right into Amelia's eyes. Amelia's voice was stern. "Are you sure?"

"I am. Thank you, Dr. Shepherd." Amelia nodded and exited the OR.

After a couple of hours, almost at the finish line, he started coding yet again. Arizona did the same thing as back in his room, charged, shocked but this time no response at all. After a few minutes, she gave up seeing there's no change. Breathing heavily, with a shaky voice, she declared him. "Time of death, 18:21."

She scrubbed out with a few tears gathering in her eyes, blocking her vision. She went to talk to the mother and then felt the need to sit down and actually cry. She went in the nearest on-call room and closed the door after her, without locking it. A few minutes past and she sat in silence, mourning the kid she just lost, but mostly her brother. This case reminded her of him too many times in just two days. As she wiped away her tears, she heard the door opening and looked up to see Amelia. The neurosurgeon closed the door, actually locking it, and sat down next to Arizona.

"His heart was too weak. He couldn't handle it," she said, her voice breaking again. Amelia put a hand around her shoulder and Arizona put her head on her shoulder. In her embrace Arizona shed even more tears. Not as much for her brother now, but more because she can't have Amelia. Because she can't feel the same embrace and stay there for an entire night, because she can't kiss her to feel better, because she can't show her the love that grew inside of her for all this time. They stood there for a while, but Amelia didn't complain. Arizona stopped crying, but now her head was against Amelia's heart. As she heard it beat, her own calmed down and she could feel safe hearing it. Amelia took Arizona's hand and her heart started beating like crazy again. She smiled ever so slightly and closed her eyes.

"Do you want to hear what Sofia did after you left?" asked Amelia. Arizona nodded and Amelia started telling her about a drawing they worked on together and how Sofia said she'll keep that because she made it with Amelia. Arizona smiled as she thought about her beautiful girl. Amelia's voice was soft and calm, almost to a whisper. It calmed down Arizona like crazy, it worked like magic. After she finished talking, Arizona looked up at her and saw the bright blue in her eyes, so reassuring and gentle that Arizona could feel herself falling for her more and more. They looked at each other, and for Arizona time stopped, wanting to look into those eyes forever. But she wasn't sure what Amelia was feeling or how she was feeling. She did work it out with Owen. That's what she said at least. Her eyes said something else, though. In her eyes Arizona could see a glance of desire, desire for her maybe. In that moment all Arizona wanted to feel was the warmth and softness of Amelia's lips, how they felt. And with every moment that passed and they continued to look in each other's crystal blue eyes, Arizona could feel the temptation growing bigger and bigger. As the urge to kiss her was too big, Arizona looked away and let go of her hand.

"Thank you, Amelia, you didn't have to do this," said Arizona, her voice stronger now.

"Don't say that. It's a pleasure to stay with you," she said, smiling. Arizona felt thousands of shivers running down her back. They stood up and as they opened the door, both of them remained perplexed and speechless. Sitting next to Owen and Meredith, completing a form was no one else but Cristina Yang. They all were laughing and smiling and after Cristina handed in the piece of paper, she hugged both of her friends. Well, her person and her… ex-husband.


	3. Chapter 3

Both Amelia and Arizona were outright shocked, but Arizona woke to reality after she saw Meredith shooting her a strange look. Sort of a 'what are you doing coming out of an on-call room with Amelia'. Releasing a breath she forgot she was holding, Arizona stepped forward to greet Cristina. It was a long time since she last saw her. Besides, they've certainly been through a lot together.

"Cristina Yang," she said approaching her.

"Hi, Arizona," Cristina said, hugging her. Her voice sounded way happier than a couple of years ago. Also, hugging? That was not the Cristina Yang Arizona knew.

"How are you? What's going on?" asked Arizona keeping her smile on.

"I'm good. I'm coming back to Seattle. I'm taking my old job back," she said, smiling. "Switzerland was beautiful and good, but I'm not cut out to be a chief. Not so many surgeries, you know? And in the end, all my friends are here," she said, looking at Meredith who smiled in return.

"Yeah, I know," Arizona answered, her mind on that Malawi experience she had a few years ago. "So this is great! We're happy to have you back!"

"I'm happy to be back," she replied.

Amelia finally rebuilt herself and came to greet Cristina. "Hello, Cristina," she said with a smile.

"Amelia, hi. It's nice to see you again," Cristina greeted her.

"Cristina came back. She's a doctor in this hospital again," Owen said to Amelia.

"Oh, that's great. Nice to see you in these halls again."

"Thank you. All of you," she said, turning to all of them. "Well, I'll go change in my old scrubs and go see the others too," she said turning to leave, but then she remembered something. "Hey, where's Callie? I really want to see her."

Everyone looked at each other as if they were in trouble. The looks differentiated from 'she doesn't know?' to 'who should tell her?' Meredith took the lead.

"Callie left to New York," she started. Cristina widened her eyes in surprise. "She moved there with Penny, her new girlfriend."

" _Girlfriend_? What… Last time I saw her she was _married_! To _you_!" she said, pointing to Arizona.

"Yes, well we got a divorce after you left. We figured it wasn't working," she clarified Cristina's doubts.

"Oh, my God." Cristina was now shocked. "When did she leave?"

"After Amelia and Owen's wedding," Meredith told her.

"You guys got _married_?!" The shock was even bigger now. "Whoa, it's like I was on another planet, not the other side of it."

Arizona couldn't help but grin a little at how uninformed Cristina was. And what a shock it was for her to find all these things out. Amelia noticed Arizona's amusement and also formed a little smile on her face.

"Alright, then… Kepner. Where's April?"

Arizona started actually laughing a little before answering. "She's at home. With her new baby."

"Kepner had a _baby_?! Okay, I'll leave now before I find out who died. I don't even want to know about Evil Spawn," she said. After she left all four of them couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"You didn't tell her anything?" asked Owen, still laughing.

"We talked, but I guess I forgot to mention some things," Meredith answered. Before everyone separated and went their ways, Meredith asked, "Hey, would you guys want to come tonight to dinner? I'm doing something since she's back."

"I'd love to come," Arizona said. Both Owen and Amelia also agreed.

"Oh, and bring Sofia, will you? These kids really like playing together."

"Sure thing."

Arizona had a few more cases to check on and then she could head home and get ready for Meredith's dinner. She picked up Sofia and told her about the dinner party. Sofia of course couldn't be more excited about it and Arizona was too looking forward to it. She was looking forward to socializing with her friends, but truthfully, after today's on-call room episode with Amelia, she felt like she was walking on shaky ground.

"Hi," Meredith greeted them with an excited voice. "Come in. Sofia, Zola and Bailey are upstairs," she said to the little girl who ran up to find her friends. "Arizona, if you don't mind me asking, what were you doing in that on-call room with Amelia earlier today?" Meredith asked.

"I lost a patient we were working on together. I was in the on-call room, crying and she came in. There was nothing else, trust me," admitted Arizona. _Just a long breathtaking stare into her beautiful eyes and I was allured. But nothing else_ , Arizona thought.

"Alright. It's just… they just got married, you know?" she said looking towards the couple who was sitting on the couch.

"Yes, I know."

Arizona made her way into the living room and sat down on a chair as Cristina was telling a story. She laughed and had fun, but couldn't help but steal glances at Amelia. She was smiling so gorgeously that Arizona couldn't stop looking at her. She did have to look away when Amelia glanced at her and they locked eyes. She looked down, frowning when Bailey asked her, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's nothing," she replied, forming a smile again.

"I heard about your patient. I'm sorry," she said.

"Yeah, it happens," she replied. "Still, out of all of today's patients you've heard about mine?" she asked, laughing.

"I am the Chief," Miranda said in her Chief tone. It wasn't even the Chief tone, it was really the Bailey tone. "Besides, I am Dr. Bailey."

"Right, makes sense," she said and they both started laughing.

Few minutes later, April, Jackson and their baby made their appearance. A little surprising they'd come, given the baby's couple of weeks of life, but at least they saw their friends. After the baby stole the guest's hearts, April had to go do her mother duties. Meanwhile, the rest would help set up the table.

"Arizona," said April. She nodded toward a room and Arizona joined her. "How are you? I heard about him."

"I'm fine, really. Apparently the whole hospital heard."

"How about Amelia?" her friend asked as she took care of her child. "I saw you looking at her, several times." Arizona looked down. "But," she continued, "I also noticed her looking at you."

"What?" Arizona asked, her eyes lighting up.

"She looked at you. Whenever you were laughing or talking to someone else, her eyes were on you," April said. Arizona flashed a small smile. "Did you do or say anything?"

"What? No. I mean after my patient died I went in an on-call room and cried. She found me and she sat with me. She… _held_ me."

"Oh… OH!" April's stern eyes were fixed on her. "Arizona!"

"What? It's not my fault!" After a few seconds' silence, she added, "I told her she didn't have to, but she said it was her pleasure."

"Oh, God… this is messed up, Arizona."

"I know," she said, crashing into a chair.

As April finished changing her baby, they stood in silence and then they went to the dinner table. They ate and the atmosphere was happy, something none of them had recently experienced. The last dinner they all shared together was overturned by perfect Penny and it wasn't the best get-together they had. The kids were at a smaller table and all of the adults were making small talks, everybody with everybody. Arizona was sitting next to April and Alex and in front of her was, naturally, Amelia. She didn't look at her only once or twice, trying to not look suspicious but from the corner of her eye she could figure Amelia glanced at her occasionally. The dinner was good and the people great of course, but Arizona decided to leave once April and Jackson were, which was early.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay? I can take care of the kids. Put them to sleep," Meredith offered.

"Yes, I'm sure. It was a long day," said Arizona.

"Alright, well thanks for coming."

"Thank you for having us," replied Arizona smiling. "Sofia did you say your goodbyes?"

"Yes, Mommy."

"Good girl. Say a good night for us to Cristina please?"

"I will," Meredith answered as she glanced back to her person. She was laughing and having the most fun probably.

It was an exhausting day for Arizona. From Tim to Cristina and from her time with Amelia in daycare to the on-call room. That night she woke up several times after having continuous and constant dreams of the crystal eyes and chestnut hair. Her charismatic smile and seducing eyes. Her comforting embrace and calming heartbeat. Her tempting lips. Except the only difference was that in her dreams she would get to know how those lips feel like. And those dreams drove her crazy.


	4. Chapter 4

Few weeks passed since Cristina came to town and nothing new happened. Besides daily surgeries and weekly traumas, nothing unusual happened. Cristina took her surgical junkie reputation back and she couldn't be happier. Arizona hadn't talked to Amelia ever since the on-call room. She tried to avoid the brunette in hopes she'd fall out of love. Yet, every time she saw her at the end of the hall she couldn't resist but take a moment to look at her. And every time she did that she mentally kicked herself for it because she knew that wasn't a way to fall out of love. But… there was something that beckoned her to do it. To look at her. To see her. To _notice_ her.

One day she saw her at the end of the hall, opening an on-call room and entering. Seeing nothing unusual in that, Arizona went back to her paperwork. It was when she heard a door slam that she looked up and saw Amelia furiously heading down the hall. As she considered whether or not to go after her, she saw Owen opening the previously shut door, his hair all messy and agitated. Confused, Arizona wanted to go ask him what was wrong, except she then noticed Cristina coming out after him. Her eyes widened in shock, already speculating what all of this might mean. She ran down the hall to where she saw Amelia heading. A few nurses were still looking confused.

"Where is she?" Arizona asked them.

"I don't-," started one of them.

"WHERE IS SHE?" She didn't mean to scream, but it if hadn't worked otherwise, she had no choice. From Owen and Cristina exiting the on-call room together, messy hairs and guilty faces, she understood exactly what happened. She needed to find her. Another nurse pointed to a storage closet. Arizona opened the door and locked it behind her. Amelia was sitting in the opposite corner of the door, where it was the darkest, crying. She ran to her, kneeling down in front of her. The closet was dark but she could still see Amelia's face quite clearly, her eyes watery and brokenhearted.

"Amelia," she started, but Amelia just nodded in denial. Arizona understood there was going to be no talking, so she sat down next to her, surrounding Amelia with her arms. She placed her head against Arizona's heart, so she could hear it the same way Arizona heard hers weeks ago. After a few minutes in which Amelia cried and sobbed, Arizona's heart almost broke because she really hated seeing her in pain. She reached for a tissue box and opened it. Handing one to Amelia, she raised her head and wiped away her tears. As she turned her face to Arizona, more tears rolled down her cheek. Arizona carefully wiped them away, looking into her bright blue eyes again. Even though they were sad, Arizona could still find the same safeness she did weeks ago.

"I think he never really stopped loving her," said Amelia, her voice slightly breaking. "I know he loved me. I don't care if he still does. But he did. It's possible to love more people at one time," she said sighing and looking at the shelves in the dark room. "So he always loved her."

"Don't say that, it's-"

"No, you don't need to deny it. We all know it's like that. Maybe that's why our marriage never worked. I know it's been a short marriage but it's been enough time to realize it's not going to work. And I won't try to fix it anymore." Arizona felt shivers running through her body. That's how Callie ended their marriage. Because it wasn't working. Because some things really can't be fixed. She put her hand back around her shoulders. "It all happened too fast."

"Are you sure you don't want to try anymore?"

"No. I'm done. It never would've worked, no matter how hard we tried."

They stayed in the same comforting silence until Amelia was ready to go out again. "Can I ask you for something? Might be pathetic, but-"

"Tell me," said Arizona once she stood up.

"Could I… stay at your place tonight?"

"Of course. As much as you need, Amelia. You're always welcome." Amelia smiled sadly and they opened the door. Outside was Owen, pacing around in front of the closet.

"I don't want to hear anything. Not now," Amelia said, turning her back to him.

"Please, just listen to me-"

"I said _no_!" She turned to him. "What is there to listen to? I know you love her. And it's alright. We all need love, don't we? It just seems that mine are always slipping away from me," she said, laughing. Ironic laugh, of course. She looked down for a second, then said, "But don't worry; I'm not your problem anymore."

"Amelia, please. Will you at least come home tonight? We'll talk, I'll-"In his eyes there was definitely a trace of regret and rue. His eyes were glimmering with the smallest, almost insignificant evidence of hope, or chance of making it up.

"That's not my home anymore," she said looking directly into his eyes. "I don't know where my home is. But no, Owen. I'm not coming home. That's my decision and you should respect it given the thing you've done. You shouldn't say a _single_ word, Owen!" she said angrily. Arizona took steps back and she watched them worriedly. Amelia lowered her voice, as she looked around and noticed people started turning their heads to her. "This would've never worked out. We tried, we failed. We're not meant to be. You two on the other side," said Amelia, starting to walk away, "you are another story." She turned her back and left. He turned to Arizona.

"It's not what you think," he said. Arizona didn't interrupt him. "I love her, I just-"

"You love Cristina more. You always have. Never stopped," said Arizona in a soft voice. He looked down, ashamed, his dignity all over the place. "But Owen; she's done trying, you saw it too. You hurt her. She's broken. You cannot fix that."

"I don't mean to be an ass, but Callie came back to you, didn't she? She could come back to me."

"She did. And yet where are we now? We were stuck. She was stuck in the relationship. Maybe she forgave me, I'll never really know. But after this, Amelia will feel stuck too because she'll still love you and you'll still love Cristina, no matter what you say or think or even know. Deep down, you'll still love her and in a marriage it's best to be devoted to the one you're with. So let her be. Let her go," she said in the same soft tone. Arizona walked away, leaving him to ponder on what she said.

She checked her clock: lunch time. She decided to go visit Sofia again. She went down to daycare and saw her girl playing alone.

"Hey, Sof," she said and Sofia turned to happily hug her mother. "How come you're playing alone?"

"Zola, Bailey and Ellis went to have lunch with their mommy."

"Do you want to have lunch too?"

"No, I want to stay here," the little girl said. "Amy!" She ran to the door to hug Amelia. Sofia really did like Amelia and Arizona was so happy for that. Once Amelia sat down, Arizona said to her daughter, "Sofia, let's call her Amelia, okay?"

"But she said I can call her that," the child answered with a pout.

"I did," Amelia answered, smiling at her. "She can call me Amy. And so can you," she said to Arizona. Arizona flashed a wide grin.

"Are you okay?" Arizona asked Amy in a quiet voice.

"No," she replied. "But then again, who's okay after something like that, right?"

"Right."

"But don't worry, I will be," she said showing her gorgeous smile to Arizona. Arizona really felt like they got significantly closer, ever since Tim's case. After a minute, Arizona said to Sofia, "Hey, guess who's coming to have a sleepover at our house tonight?" She looked at her daughter and nodded toward Amelia.

"Amy?" the child asked excited.

"Amy," said Arizona smiling. She realized calling her 'Amy' sounded really nice. Sofia jumped on Amelia's lap and hugged her tight.

Then a stern, firm voice came from the door. "Hey, Amelia," said Cristina. Amelia turned to her and her smile washed away. "Mind if I talk to you for a minute?"

"Go. Let her talk," whispered Arizona to her.

"Sofia, I'll be right back, okay?" She nodded and let her go. Amelia and Cristina stepped outside.

"I'm not-," started Amelia.

"Let me talk, really," said Cristina. "Listen, I'm not a homewrecker. It was never my intention to come back here and wreck your marriage. I never even knew he was married until I got here. I never wanted to put you in this situation." Cristina had a new shade on her, something that screamed guilt. It wasn't something either of her friends had seen of her. But, despite the guilt and blame, she was honest. "I'm not playing a victim, but just know that it wasn't just me that leaned in for that kiss. I know I'm to be blamed. I know you'll never forgive me. But just know: I am _not_ a homewrecker."

"Thank you," said Amelia, "for being honest."

"I'm an adult. I know what's right or wrong."

Amelia nodded and said, "He's all yours." She headed back to where she was sitting and Sofia took her place back, in Amy's lap. Cristina left and Arizona said, "She's not a bad person."

"I know. Then again, no one is."

When the sun went down, Arizona met Amelia in the hall and went to pick up Sofia.

"Did you see him?" Arizona asked.

"I did. He didn't say anything, not a single word."

"That's good, right?"

"It's what I asked," she admitted. "I'm surprised he didn't try."

Arizona let the silence settle down. She hoped something from what she said would stick to him, but she didn't expect this right away. But Sofia, being a curious child asked, "Who didn't try?"

"Kids do listen," said Arizona, grinning.

"They do," Amelia smiled back. Owen didn't try. We had a fight, but it'll be okay in the end," she told Sofia. "Some things will change."

Sofia didn't say anything else and they drove in silence until they arrived home. They made dinner and talked and laughed together and Arizona could see Amelia was feeling better, even if just a bit. Every bit mattered. After the dishes have been washed and the kid was put to sleep they sat down on the couch, so close their shoulders were touching. Arizona turned to ask Amelia, "How are you?"

"Better," she said. "I really want to thank you, I'm-"she started but her voice broke again. "I'm sorry. I'm a mess."

Arizona turned Amelia's face to face hers, looking into the eyes that could seduce her so easily. She wiped away gently a single tear and said, "Hey, you may be a mess now. But you won't be anymore."

Amelia looked straight into Arizona's ocean blue eyes. Arizona could feel her body weakening under Amelia's eyes, like she couldn't hold in any more feelings. Amelia's eyes made her feel safe, but at the same time they generated a bit of fear. Clearly not wanting to wait anymore, Amelia leaned in and kissed the blonde softly, but meaningfully. At first Arizona was unsure, but then she kissed her back harder. The lips she wanted to feel against hers for so long were finally there. She had a burning desire to kiss her harder and longer, to explore more of her. More of what Amelia feels like. But she parted her face from the other woman. She also had a burning desire to just look into her eyes and finally not have to keep the secret locked inside of her, locked from Amelia. They leaned against each other, their foreheads touching and their soft lips inches away.

"Come on," Arizona said. "It was a long day." She took her hand and leaded her into the bedroom, giving her clothes to sleep in.

They both climbed into the bed and before falling asleep in her arms, Amelia kissed her one more time and smiled. Arizona surrounded her with her arms, same way she did in the storage closet and kissed the back of her head. "You smell really, really nice," Arizona said and Amelia chuckled.

Arizona didn't feel alone anymore. She knew guilt would rush over her in the morning but for now, she just wanted to listen to Amelia's calm heartbeat until she'd fall asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

The morning sun lit up Arizona's bedroom. She woke up first and got up as silently as she could to not wake up Amelia. As she looked at her, she found delight in how peaceful the other woman looked while sleeping. She looked detached, calm. To her Amelia Shepherd wasn't a calm person. She was vigorous and lively, always jumping in for help, always trying to make herself helpful. When she was up and smiling her face was just radiant and Arizona loved it so much. She loved seeing her happy.

Thus in her sleep she looked calm. Like none of the trouble they were standing in front of every day was reaching her. Arizona could see the softness of her lips, her relaxed muscles and she found it somehow comforting.

She smiled to herself, but then the realization hit her. She was admiring Amelia… who was _sleeping_ in her bed. Who she _kissed_ last night. Guilt started to rush over her. She was still a married person, even if she didn't feel that way anymore. The ring was taken off her finger and she soon wanted to suggest signing divorce papers. But Arizona couldn't help it. She blamed herself for being with a married person. She's been here before, and the outcome was more than ugly. She could now be considered a homewrecker. She started crying, since the guilt was pressuring her so bad. She sobbed silently, but it still managed to wake the brunette up.

"Arizona?" Amelia's voice was low and sleepy. Hoarse. It didn't fail to take Arizona's breath away.

"Yes. Hey, go back to sleep, it's Saturday," said Arizona turning to her, putting a smile on and quickly wiping away some tears that started showing.

"No, I'm not. Are you crying? What happened?" asked Amelia as she got up. She took Arizona's face in one hand and said, "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, really. It's just… I'm a… I'm a homewrecker," she said, looking down and letting out a small ironical laugh.

"No, no, no. You don't get to say that. I told you. My marriage is over. I am done with Owen. You didn't ruin anything. You took me in when I was at my worst and made me feel better. So much better," she smiled, thinking about last night. Her sleepy eyes became brisk. "Don't blame yourself. This is _not_ your fault."

"You're technically still married, though."

"Married on a paper never meant anything extra special for me. Married for me meant when I felt that special something for the other person. But I don't anymore. It's gone, I don't feel anything anymore," Amelia told her. Couple tears rolled down Arizona's cheek. "Arizona, listen to me. I'm here, with _you_. I kissed you last night." Amelia grinned. " _I_ did. What do you think that means?"

Arizona flashed a small smile. She kissed her softly. "I trust you, then."

"Please do," Amelia told her.

"It's 8:30. I'll let Sofia sleep until 9. Would you like to do something with us after breakfast?" asked Arizona.

"It would be my pleasure. Now, until 9, I'll be sitting here, holding you," Amelia said as she pulled Arizona under the covers and they lay facing each other. Arizona placed her elbow on the pillow, her head resting on her palm. As she brushed off a lock of hair from Amelia's face, she told her softly, almost to a whisper, "You're very beautiful."

"And you are stunning," said Amelia as she leaned in to kiss Arizona, pushing her onto the mattress. She kissed her fiercely, leaving her no place to breathe. She parted from her lips only to go down and kiss her jawline and neck. Arizona let out a low moan but Amelia heard it and she smirked. "Also, you're really hot," she added. Arizona was already breathing heavily when Amelia reached her collarbones. She grazed them in a painfully slow tempo and it killed the blonde. Arizona pulled her back up to her face, to her lips and kissed her firmly, biting her lower lip. She looked in her eyes, her pupils dilated and her iris colored a dark blue. She ran her hand through Amelia's hair, kissing her again, amazed by how good the woman feels.

While Amelia took a shower, Arizona went to wake Sofia and make breakfast. As per usual, Sofia was happy and cheerful and so was her mother. She definitely got the happy and bubbly trait from her mother. Not that Callie was frowny, but everyone knew Arizona's resolute positive attitude. When Amelia got out of the shower, Sofia ran to hug her and they sat down at the table, ready to eat.

"Amy, how did you sleep on the couch? Was it comfortable?" asked Sofia.

Amelia looked at Arizona and grinned. "Yes, it was very good. How did _you_ sleep?" she asked the little girl, trying to turn around the subject before having to lie more to the child.

"I slept well too, thank you," the kid answered, very politely for someone her age. "Mommy? Were you cold? You said you were a little cold ever since Mama left."

Amy looked up from her breakfast to Arizona, as if searching for some kind of explanation. Instead of meeting her gaze, Arizona just smiled and looked at Sofia. "Yes, I usually was but not anymore. I won't be. You don't need to worry about me sweetheart."

Letting a few seconds pass, Sofia said, "Maybe you and Amy could share a bed together." At that idea Amy chocked on her coffee.

"Sof, how would you like it if today we went on a little trip?" asked her mother, definitely changing the subject.

"YES!" the kid smiled even brighter than earlier and it just warmed Arizona's heart. Amy put up a wide grin herself and smiled to both.

After they had breakfast, they dressed up and packed some snacks and drinks.

"Alright, I think we're good to go," said Arizona.

"First stop's going to be the aquarium," announced Arizona as she pulled up in a parking lot.

"I've never been to one," the child said.

"I know, that's why I thought today would be a great day for it," she said, looking at Sofia then Amelia. The brunette smiled to her and Arizona had to think twice before kissing the neurosurgeon in front of her child. Not that she wasn't familiar with the lesbian part, since she had two moms, but she wasn't familiar with Shepherd being gay for her mother. _She will be soon_ , Arizona thought. Amelia had the same desire in her eyes, Arizona could see. Before getting it all too weird, they unbuckled their seatbelts and stepped out of the car.

In the aquarium Arizona showed Sofia all kinds of fishes, explaining what their names were and such. Whenever Arizona looked to search for Amelia, she'd find her looking at her and smiling. Arizona blushed and Amelia started laughing at the blonde. She admired Arizona for being such a good, caring and loving mother. Arizona told her a while ago while they were having coffee over Herman's scans that she didn't use to want kids. But then Sofia came along and somehow it all changed. They weren't even that close and she couldn't remember how they got close to the subject, but they just did. And they started bonding.

Next on their visit list was the Elliot Bay. They've been there before, but it was a really sunny day and Amelia suggested they go and sit down on a bench and watch the water and the boats.

The boats, the ferries. They constantly reminded her of Derek. His thing for ferryboats. She laughed at the memory.

Both Arizona and Sofia loved the idea, so they did that. It was a good opportunity to sit down and have a snack since the aquarium was huge and they needed a break. Sofia sat down in the middle and Arizona had the opportunity to lean back and take Amelia's hand and hold it. Arizona looked again in those bright blue gorgeous eyes and she could feel herself falling more and more.

She was always afraid of breaking because of a love affair or a crush. But Amelia… Amelia was more than a crush.

And so she smiled at the idea. She allowed it. She allowed herself to fall for her. She held back nothing.

After the Elliot Bay, Sofia wanted to go home and watch a movie, all of them together. Amelia started to feel closer and closer to this small family and she couldn't be happier about it. So once they were home, Arizona put in "Inside Out" and they all sat down on the couch, just as they did on the Bay bench. They laughed and cried and enjoyed the movie. Amelia and Arizona even forgot about the marriage problem. Then again, for Amelia it wasn't even a problem, since she seemed to really put it behind her. Yet Arizona was seeing the divorce they were going to go through, the explanations they were going to give. She saw the hard road ahead, or at least she pictured it would be hard because her experience with Callie definitely was. But Amelia was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Where she would be after this divorce, or at least where she'd want to be.

When they finished the movie, they had dinner, in the same family way as they had breakfast. Sofia was quite tired, but it was a long and exciting day, so who would blame her?

Later, they both decided to go to bed. Amelia cuddled into Arizona's arms again, her head against Arizona's heart and they sat in a pleasant silence until Amelia broke it.

"Are you still cold?" she asked Arizona.

Arizona smiled at the fact that Amelia remembered what her little girl said. "Not anymore. Not as long as you're here," Arizona answered, leaving a soft kiss on Amelia's forehead. Silence filled the room again but not for long as Amelia decided to confess. She didn't want to make it a grand gesture or anything. She kept it simple, but meaningful. None of them were into grand gestures anyway.

"Arizona?" Her voice was quiet and hushed. "I'm in love with you."

Arizona smiled widely. "I'm glad we feel the same way about each other." She kissed her and Amelia buried her face into Arizona's neck, where she fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

When Arizona woke up she found Amelia looking at her, smiling. "Okay, since when are you awake?" Arizona asked, with sleepy eyes and her voice almost to a whisper.

"Not long. But I didn't want to wake you up, so I figured I'd watch you sleep," said Amelia, kissing Arizona shortly.

"Creepy…"

"Maybe, but you're adorable when you sleep, so I win," Amelia replied.

"I don't want to go to work tomorrow," said Arizona in a child's voice, as she cuddled in Amelia's arms.

"Me neither, but that's tomorrow. Today we're still free and we'll spend the day together, just like yesterday," Amelia spoke as she took a strand of the blonde hair and played with it.

Arizona nodded, and asked after a while, "Aren't you scared for tomorrow?"

"A bit, but we're always scared of a tomorrow. We think so much of it, how we'll act and say or do, that we often forget to live the day. I try to live the day," said Amelia in a calm voice. It helped calm Arizona too, as it always did. "We never know what will hit us. So it's better to live the day."

"I think I'm more worried than you are," stated Arizona, laughing. Amelia laughed too, but she turned Arizona's face to hers and said softly, "You don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure? He's another person you loved and lost. I don't want you to-"

"He is. But this way, I was able to see you. And I'm so glad I saw you. Because now I'm here, with you."

Arizona kissed Amelia as she'd always wanted to and then just for being sure, she told her, "No matter how this goes, don't let it take you down. I won't let you. Because you're strong and you can handle it," Arizona said with her voice starting to grow stronger and stronger.

"I won't. I promise," Amelia said.

"Good. Now, I have to go wake Sofia. And take a shower. And buy groceries and cook," said Arizona as she got up.

"That's a loaded program," said Amelia. "Can I help you with something?"

"Uhm, no, I got this. I just have to, uhm-"

"Okay, listen. You go take a shower. I'll wake Sofia if it's alright with you. We'll have breakfast and then we'll go shopping, all of us. And then I'll help you cook," Amelia offered, getting out of the bed.

"You're sure you don't want to do literally anything else today? It's your free day."

"And I'll spend it with you. Complain about it?"

"Not at all," said Arizona as she approached her. She pulled her closer and kissed her. She could feel Amelia forming a smile as they kissed. The kiss got heated up as Arizona added her tongue to it, but Amelia parted, saying, "I have to go wake Sofia. But we'll continue this tonight."

"But there's a lot until tonight," cried Arizona.

"That's what it will make it even better. The anticipation. The desire," said Amelia.

"I hate you," said Arizona, joking.

"But I'm right," she shot back and Arizona growled. As she tended to go, Amelia gripped her hand tighter. "Hey, Arizona, I've been meaning to ask you. What does this make us?"

"What do you want this to be?" Arizona asked kindly.

"I don't know. I don't like to label things," she said.

"Then, a couple? Lovers?"

"A couple it is," Amelia said, kissing her firmly.

In 5 minutes she was ready to go have breakfast. From her bedroom she could hear Amelia and Sofia laughing and talking and she just wanted to take that image in. She opened the door quietly and neither Amelia, nor Sofia heard it open. Amelia was making pancakes and she was quite good at it, Arizona admitted. _Is there anything this woman can't do_ , she asked herself. Sofia really liked Amelia and Arizona was happy and relieved about it. It's true that Sofia liked many people; she liked Penny too.

"You gonna come out here?" Amelia asked Arizona, once she noticed her.

"Yes, I was just thinking," she replied. "Good morning, Sof," she said, kissing her daughter on her head.

"Thinking about what?" asked Sofia.

"About how happy I am," her mother told her. She smiled to both of them.

"Mommy, guess what Amelia made me for breakfast," said the kid excitedly.

"I'm guessing pancakes, maybe?" she asked. Sofia nodded and took another bite.

"How are they?" Amelia asked.

"They are the best pancakes I've ever had!"

"Oh, is that so?" Arizona asked, laughing. Amelia mouthed a 'sorry' and right then and there, Arizona wanted to kiss her. So she sat down next to Sofia to explain what was going on between her mother and Amelia.

"Sof, Amelia and I are a couple," she started. Amelia's eyes widened in surprise, as she didn't expect Arizona to tell her child just yet.

"Like you and Mama were?"

"Yes, exactly like that." She knew Sofia would understand, since she'd seen her two mothers together. This notion had been explained to her and even back when she was smaller, she understood why she had two moms and not one mom and one dad. Well, it was even more complicated because she basically had two moms and one dad. But she managed to get the point behind the complicated situation.

"So that means you won't be cold at night anymore?" the kid asked innocently.

"That's right. You are one clever girl," said Arizona smiling.

"It also means Amy will be living with us and making us pancakes every Sunday morning?"

"Only if she wants to," Arizona answered. She turned to Amelia who was smiling as she watched the mother and daughter talking. "Do you want to be part of our family? And make us pancakes every Sunday morning?"

Amelia sat down next to Sofia and replied with a happy tone, "It would be the best decision I've ever made," she replied. Sofia hugged her tight and Arizona kissed her shortly.

After breakfast, Amelia's phone started ringing. It was Meredith. She picked up quite hesitantly. "Meredith, hi." Arizona was able to hear bits of their conversation.

"No, I'm okay. I'm at Arizona's."

…

"I didn't drink anything."

…

"No, no drugs."

…

"Listen, I'm very well where I am. You don't need to worry-"

…

"Then you'll have to come over and talk to both of us."

…

"Fine, this afternoon. Okay, bye."

Arizona was watching her, not knowing what to take from this conversation. "Is everything okay?"

"She's coming this afternoon to talk to us. About _us_."

"Oh. Okay, we can handle that," Arizona said trying to stay positive.

In 10 minutes they heard the bell ring and Arizona started to get anxious.

"Meredith, come in," she said as she welcomed her friend in her home. "Where are the kids?"

"They're at home, with Alex and Maggie."

Arizona nodded and they walked in the kitchen. "So, care to tell me what's happening?" said Meredith sitting down at the table. Amelia and Arizona were sitting opposite her, next to each other.

"Okay, I hope you're not gonna interrogate us cause it's not your place to do that," Amelia started.

"Amelia, I just want to know what happened from your point of view. I want to understand," said Meredith.

"I came to sleep here after I find out about Owen. Arizona was very kind and understanding about it," Amelia said. Under the table she was squeezing Arizona's hand tightly. "I needed some time to process everything."

"Since you're home wasn't your home anymore," said Meredith.

"Meredith, don't make me the bad guy because I'm definitely not the one," said Amelia starting to raise her tone.

"Hey. Calm," said Arizona, speaking in a whisper.

"Sorry," Amelia mumbled. "But you don't get to blame me because I didn't feel like home there, or in his presence as I used to. _He_ cheated on me! I didn't ask for it, Meredith," she said, as a few tears started to gather in her eyes.

"I know and I'm sorry it happened this way. You know Cristina it's the kind of a person that-"

"No, I actually don't, because I never really got to meet her as you both did. Everyone keeps telling me she wouldn't do such thing, but she did," Amelia spoke in a calmer voice than before, but still angry. "I'm not saying that she ruined this marriage because it wasn't working in the first place. She just gave us the push towards the finish line. We would've gotten to the finish line anyway, but maybe it would've been in a better way." Tears rolled down her cheek. "It's over, Meredith. It's over, so I don't want to hear a word when I tell you this: I'm in love with Arizona. And so is she and we're very happy together."

"Since when did you start having feelings for Arizona?" asked Meredith. She was a master already at keeping a straight face when she received big news such as this one.

"Oh, you don't have to worry about me being a cheater. I never was and I never will be."

" _When did you start having feelings for Arizona?_ " Meredith said, putting an accent on every word, raising her voice ever so slightly. She might've seemed mad, but deep down she cared for both Owen and Amelia. Yes, she didn't like Amelia _that_ much, but she was family. And she never wished for something like this to happen to her.

"The day Cristina arrived in town. That day Arizona had lost our patient and I found her crying in an on-call room. I stayed with her until she was better and that's when it happened." Meredith nodded, understanding. "Meredith, I have the right to be loved and happy. I have the right to be with Arizona if I feel something for her and we have the right to be together just as Cristina and Owen do."

"I know. Alright, I just wanted to know you're okay," Meredith said, standing up. She cared despite the tone she used or the looks she gave them. She cared.

"Thank you, Meredith," said Arizona smiling.

"See you tomorrow at work," she said, smiling to both.

Once she left, Arizona locked the door and leaned on it. Amelia smiled and went to hug her lover from behind, pulling her in her arms. "See? I told you it wasn't going to be bad," said Amelia as she heard Arizona started sniffing. "Oh, don't start crying. Why are you crying?" she asked her as she looked in her stunning blue eyes.

"It's nothing. I have authority issues," Arizona said.

"You know Meredith's not your superior, right?"

"I know, but she can be very serious and it's scary sometimes," she added. Amelia laughed slightly. "I just want to be with you without complications."

"Hey, we are together," Amelia said as she held Arizona's face in her hands. "And I don't care if anyone disagrees. I love you and I want to be with you. That's what matters."

After Arizona put Sofia to sleep, she closed the door to the bedroom. Amelia was lying on the bed, waiting for her. Arizona climbed in the bed and after removing her prosthetic, Amelia pulled her close to her. She kissed her hard, adding her tongue to it.

"So should we continue what we started?" asked Amelia with a smirk. In response, Arizona flipped her over so that now she was on top. She drove her kisses from her jawline to her neck, stopping to pay attention to it and from her collarbones to her stomach. She slipped her hand under her pajama top, taking it off. Both of them were breathing heavily, but Arizona didn't quit what she started. She kissed and bit Amelia's lips until they were bruised. She moved up to her ear, biting it and exhaling a long held breath in it. Amelia moaned but she turned her over, so that she was on top again. She also took Arizona's shirt off and her hand drifted down to her thighs, but Arizona stopped her, saying, "Maybe we shouldn't. Not yet. Not while Sofia's still home."

"You're right," she said, kissing her again. "Plus, the longer we wait, the better it will be, right?"

"The anticipation," Arizona said as they continued kissing.


	7. Chapter 7

Amelia was woken up by a scream. As soon as she realized the scream came from next to her, she opened her eyes and became vigilant. Arizona was sitting up, breathing heavily. "What's wrong?" Amelia asked alerted.

"Nothing, just a bad dream," said Arizona looking at her amputated leg. "A really bad dream." She put her head in her hands, still breathing heavily.

"Okay, it's alright, you're safe," said Amelia putting her arms around her.

"I was in the plane crash again and-"she started, but couldn't continue. She shaked her head and fell into Amelia's embrace.

"It's alright; you don't have to say anything. Just breathe. Focus on your breathing," Amelia's voice was calm and steady and it soothed Arizona.

When her heartbeat came back to normal, Amelia lied her back down and held her hand. They heard the door opening and a quiet voice said, "Mommy?" Sofia stepped inside the room and walked over to her mother's side of the bed. "Another bad dream?"

"Yes, honey. But it's okay. Come here," she said, making place for her girl. "She always comes to sleep with me when something like this happens," she whispered to Amelia.

"I'll go sleep on the couch then, it's-"

"No, stay," said Arizona, gripping her hand. They fell back asleep for couple more hours before their pagers went off. It was already at the crack of dawn, so they had to wake up shortly after anyway.

"ER," said Arizona who reached her pager first. "We're not even on-call."

"Must be big," said Amelia.

"Sof, baby, wake up."

As surgeons, they had become very good at getting ready in a hurry. Back when Amelia was living in Meredith's house, they all had to handle three kids. So here just one was piece of cake. In 10 minutes they were ready and in the car. After they left Sofia to daycare, they ran up to change in their scrubs.

"What happened?" Arizona asked Owen, who was on-call. He didn't look as miserable as two days ago, but still pretty wrecked. Other than that, he was alert. He was very good at his job and he wouldn't let anything getting in the way of doing it right. Neither of the doctors would.

"Shooter attack in a train station. Multiple victims with GSWs," he said. "Arizona, Trauma 3 and 4 please and Amelia, Trauma 1 and 5. Oh, Amelia?" Owen asked. "Can I see you later?" She nodded and left.

"What do we got?" asked Arizona as she entered the room.

"Emily Jackson, 16, GSW to the shoulder," said Jo. "They said she coded in the ambulance but they bought her back. Pressure and pulse stable ever since."

"What's her blood type?" asked Arizona, as she looked at her injuries.

"0 neg," responded Wilson. "I ordered already."

"Good job. Take up to CT and page me when you get the scans."

Arizona went on to Trauma 4. "Talk to me, DeLuca."

"John Doe, 17, bullet to the head, frontal lobe and stomach," the intern explained.

"Alright, page Shepherd," Arizona said as she checked his stomach. "Let's check if it went through him." Two nurses helped her put him on his side, while DeLuca checked.

"It did," he announced. "But there's minimal bleeding. He can be saved, right?"

"His abdomen, yes. I'm not as sure about his head, "she said, right as Amelia walked in. "Bullet to the frontal lobe," she said as Amelia examined the wound.

"It doesn't look good. Get a CT and page me, "she said, as she made her way to the door.

"DeLuca, do what she said please," said Arizona while she also exited the Trauma room.

Down the hall she saw Wilson carrying a big brown envelope. "Wilson? Are those my patient's scans?"

"Yes, here you go," she said, handing them to the pediatric surgeon.

"All right, basic procedure," said Arizona. "Prep the patient and scrub in."

"Really? Thank you Dr. Robbins," said Jo excitedly. She was preparing to go to the OR, but then she saw DeLuca running toward her.

"Dr. Robbins, the scans," he said, breathing heavily. She looked at them and didn't even need to page Amelia as it was quite obvious surgery wasn't going to help. Nothing would help anymore. She sighed and closing her eyes she said, "Go sit with him until he is crashing and call him."

"So, you want me to babysit him?"

Arizona opened her eyes to reveal her blue eyes shooting an icy look to the intern. "This boy has no one. No one came to reclaim him; no one came to say they're his parents, or friends or relatives. If that would be you, if you were in that situation, without anyone knowing who you are, wouldn't you like someone to sit by your side until you go? Would you like to be alone?" Arizona didn't lose her attitude. Since DeLuca didn't say anything, she asked him one more time, loud and clear, " _Would you_?"

"No, ma'am."

"Then go and sit by that boy's side until he dies," she said. "Oh, DeLuca?"

"Yes, Dr. Robbins."

"If I ever hear you again complaining, I'll make sure you won't see the inside of an OR for a painful amount of time."

The procedure on the 16 year-old teenager went swiftly, without any complications. Anytime that happened, Arizona walked out of the OR happily, knowing she did a good job. As she let Dr. Wilson close, she headed towards the attending's lounge. When she opened the door, Amelia was sitting at the table with papers in front of her.

 _Shit_ , Arizona thought. Amelia snapped out of her deep thoughts and turned her head, smiling briefly to Arizona.

"Divorce papers," she said. "He gave me the divorce papers."

"Amelia," Arizona said, sitting down next to her.

"I mean sure, I was expecting them. But I thought I had to hand them to him. He was pretty straight-forward. He apologized one more time, but I didn't say anything anymore. So he left. And now the divorce papers are in front of me," she said, looking through the pages of the document. "His parts are already signed."

Amelia kept looking at the pages, as if frozen in her seat. "You don't know whether you should sign them or not?" Arizona asked, unsure of Amelia's next move.

She hesitated a while, but she looked like she was in deep thought. Her head shot back up, her look directly in Arizona's. "No. I want to be with you. And we'll be together. So I'll put an end to this and we'll be free," Amelia said. She leaned over the table and kissed her lover. "It will be finally just us." Arizona smiled at her, looking long at her.

She took a breath and singed the papers. She looked up to Arizona and smiled.

"Hey guys," said Alex when he walked in the on-call room. "What's up?"

"Nothing, just-"started Arizona but was interrupted by Amelia.

"I just signed divorce papers."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Alex said, frowning at the sight of the papers.

"Don't be. It's gonna be alright," Amelia said, looking at Arizona. She extended her hand and Arizona took it, smiling.

"What- You two?" asked Karev, confused.

"Yes, us two," said Arizona. "Any problems?" She laughed and Amelia joined her.

"Not at all. In that case… congratulations," he said smiling to them.

Amelia's pager went off again. "Duty calls," she said, standing up. Kissing Arizona, she told her "Just us," and walked out.

"Nice, Robbins," Alex said. "I'm happy for you." She smiled to her friend and walked out to perform her next surgery. She had to do it with Cristina. So when they both were scrubbing in, Cristina asked, "How is she?"

"She's alright," Robbins said. "She signed the divorce papers earlier."

"She did?" Cristina seemed surprised at Arizona's words.

"Yeah, they both did. Didn't Owen talk to you?" Arizona watched her friend confused.

"No, he hasn't talked to me since the… since Amelia found us."

When Arizona walked out of the (successful) surgery she had her mind set on talking to Owen and as soon as she spotted him she walked over to him.

"Owen, what's your plan?" she asked him, her voice angry.

"What-"

"Because you had two women that loved you and now you have only one. You managed to lose one of them by adultery, don't lose the other one by ignorance. I'm telling you; don't treat her like she doesn't mean anything to you, because she does. Be careful at what you do Owen before you wake up to realize that everyone around you is _gone_!" She turned around to see Cristina looking at her, but she walked right past her, keeping her eyes on the road ahead.

Avoiding the eyes that were watching her, she went down to daycare again. It was truly a place where she could unwind and forget about her problems for a couple of minutes. She spotted Sofia and she sat down next to her. Just watching her kid play and listening to her was bringing her so much joy.

"Hey," a warm, familiar voice came from behind her. "I heard what happened."

"Ah… Are you mad?" asked Arizona looking up at Amy. "Because I stood up for Cristina."

"No, why would I be? I mean sure, I think she can stand up for herself, but the fact that you did is nice and friendly," she told her. "And hot," she whispered. Arizona pushed her aside jokingly and Amelia laughed.

"He just pisses me off right now. He really will lose everyone if he doesn't open his eyes and look around."

"You're right," said Amelia, patting her knee.

"I know I am," laughed Arizona and pulled out her ringing phone. It was Callie. She frowned, knowing what this phone call would be about.

"Hello?" she answered. "Hi Callie." Amelia looked up at her. Hearing her mother's name, Sofia jumped up, saying "Mama!"

"Yes, it's her. I'll let you talk and then we'll talk." She put the phone to Sofia's ear and let her talk to her mother. "It's time," she told Amelia.

"What do you mean?" asked Amelia fairly confused.

"Sofia's leaving to New York," Arizona spoke, looking at Amelia with sad eyes.

"How can you know? I mean, Callie didn't even say anything about it."

"It's been almost four months. I'm almost sure," said Arizona. Right before saying anything else, Sofia brought the phone back to her mother. "Yes, it's me again."

As Callie talked, Arizona closed her eyes to keep any tears from showing. She didn't succeed, as a few had rolled down her cheek, but Sofia was playing anyway so only Amelia saw this whole thing.

"Right, so I'll have her for Christmas then?" Arizona asked, her voice surprisingly steady given the fact she was tearing up.

…

"Okay, then we'll meet in a few days."

…

"The airport, yes."

…

"Okay, bye." She hung up and took a deep breath. "Sof, Mama will be coming for you on Saturday."

"Mommy," she said as she climbed into her arms. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, so much," she said, hugging her girl tight.

"I'll miss Amy too," Sofia said, looking at Amelia, who also started crying. "She had just moved in and she had only once chance to make me Sunday pancakes." That made Arizona cry even more. Seeing she wanted to say something, but couldn't, Amelia said, "I'll make you pancakes when you come home for Christmas, alright? What about that?"

"So I get to spend Christmas at home?" asked the kid innocently.

"Yes, you'll be with us for Christmas," answered Arizona. "Now, we have to go back to work, but we'll pick you up tonight, alright baby girl?" Sofia nodded and Amy and Arizona made their way out.

"That was horribly sad," said Amelia.

"And you haven't even seen the actual break-up," replied Arizona. When her pager started beeping, she gave Amy a kiss on the cheek and said, "It's going to be okay. See you tonight."

Amelia smiled and Arizona turned around to see Owen at the end of the hall. With the look on his face, she figured he'd seen her kissing Amelia but didn't care. She just passed by him, going towards her emergency.


	8. Chapter 8

The week passed like any other, but Arizona lay every night in bed dreading for Saturday. She loved her daughter more than she could ever explain. Just because they didn't share the same blood, it didn't mean that she didn't love Sofia just as much Callie did. When the alarm woke her, she got up with a heavy feeling in her chest, like this whole thing with Sofia leaving was wrong.

"Are you okay?" Amelia asked her as she watched her put her prosthetic on. She'd seen her do it many times already that she'd gotten used to it.

"No. But I will be," she answered. "I will be." She smiled, but Amelia knew it was a sad smile. Her eyes couldn't hide anything.

She went to wake her child for one last time before she'd leave for months. She took a deep breath and entered her room quietly. She was sleeping so peacefully, so innocently like any other kid but this felt different, obviously. This was her daughter, not a child in the NICU. And it broke her heart to let her go, even if it was just for a matter of time, even if she knew she'll be safe and happy with Callie. Arizona felt her eyes tearing up again. She sat down on the bed next to her. Seeing she was waking up, she wiped way her tears and said in her soft, warming voice, "Good morning, Sof."

"Mama…" She cuddled up in her mother's arms. "I don't want to go."

"Oh, I don't want you to go either." She really didn't, but she knew Callie loved her daughter more than anything as well. "But Mommy loves you so much and misses you. You will have fun with her. Promise me you'll feel good?" Sofia nodded. "Okay, come on. Let's get dressed up."

After they were ready to go and Sofia said goodbye to her room, they jumped in the car and drove to the airport. Callie was already waiting for them. Seeing her, Sofia ran to her mother's arms and Arizona could see Callie's eyes tearing up as well. Except those were happy tears, unlike Arizona's.

"Hey, Callie," said Arizona walking over to her. "How was your flight?"

"Good. It's good to see you again. And Amelia, you too." Confused by the fact that she was there, she asked, "What's going on with Owen?"

"Not good. We got a divorce. It wasn't working."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't expect this," said Callie frowning.

"It's okay, I'm happy now," she said looking at Arizona who smiled in exchange.

"Really? That's good," Callie said. Then she widened her eyes. "Wait; you're together?"

"Yes," answered Arizona. "We are."

"Wow… That's great then, I'm really happy for you. For both of you."

" _Flight 504 to New York boarding in 10 minutes_ ," a loudspeaker announced.

"Right, that's our plane," said Callie. Sofia hugged Amelia first and she said her goodbyes. Then, she moved to her mother's arms.

"Sof, I love you so much," Arizona said, her voice shaking. "I'll miss you, but we'll talk and then we'll meet on Christmas, alright?" Her daughter nodded, who also started crying. Everyone was crying by that point. "But you'll be happy with Mommy." She let her go and Callie took her hand. After Sofia waved one last time, they turned around and walked away. Arizona burst into tears and buried her face in Amelia's neck as she couldn't watch her leave anymore. Even if they were in the middle of the airport, Amelia held her until she was ready to go. She didn't care about the people watching, or that they were standing in their ways. She cared about Arizona. So after Amelia drove them back home, she took care of her. Not that she needed to, but she wanted to make this as easy for Arizona as she could. Watching her kid leave was heartbreaking and Amelia knew that very well. She watched her own child leave, but leave and not be able to come back, ever again.

They sat down on the couch and Arizona stayed in Amelia's arms, not wanting to be anywhere else. It was comforting and so safe. So they just sat there, not saying anything. A silence that was exactly what Arizona needed.

Later that evening, Arizona's phone rang and Amelia checked who it was. Arizona was sleeping, so she didn't want to wake her. She picked up and talked quietly.

"Hi, Callie, it's Amelia. Arizona's sleeping," Amelia said quietly.

…

"Alright, I'll let her know," she said. "Is she okay?" she asked, referring to Sofia.

…

"Okay, thank you," she said, closing the phone.

Couple of minutes after the phone call Amelia dozed off too and Arizona woke up minutes later. She looked at Amelia and seeing her napping so calmly, she got up carefully, not to wake her. She covered her with a blanket and out of instinct she went towards Sofia's room. She made her bed, gathered some clothes that were on her chair, cleared the desk and left the room clean for when she was going to come back.

Sometimes this whole thing felt fairly strange for her. Looking back to when she wanted to have no children and now when Sofia was someone she loved to death. She has been through a lot and she has changed a lot in the past few years. But she was happy the way she was now and that mattered. Thinking of what made her happy, she glanced back at Amelia sleeping on the couch and she smiled widely. _I love you, Amelia_ , she thought. For so much time she admired her from afar, knowing she can't tell her. She thought she'd never stand a chance. But now… now Amelia Shepherd was sleeping on her couch and she was in love with her. And all she wanted to do was tell her she loves her. She thought of just waking her up and telling her, but she didn't want to rush this. She was not going to screw this up.

She sat down on the couch and Amelia started to wake up. When she opened her blue eyes, she saw Arizona's super magic smile and she smiled back to her, getting up lazily.

"How are you?" asked Amelia, kissing her.

"I'm better. Thank you for being here," said Arizona.

"Well, you're gonna have to get used to me being here," she said, standing up to stretch.

"I think I can make that happen," Arizona replied, pulling her back next to her and kissing her harder. She pushed her on the couch maintaining the kiss and slipping her tongue to it. Arizona wanted more of Amelia, but something kept telling her ' _not yet_ ', so she continued to kiss her.

Amelia's phone interrupted them and growling, she went to pick it up. She finished quickly, while still smirking at Arizona.

"So I have to go check on a patient," she said, sitting back on the couch.

"Are you even on-call?"

"No, but Bailey requested it." Arizona nodded and kissed her briefly, saying, "Then you'll check on the patient and we'll have lunch afterwards."

"Perfect," Amelia grinned and went to change.

"You want me to fix _this_?" Amelia asked Bailey, looking at the scans.

"Yes," Miranda answered simply. "He's a 30 year old male, he's got his whole life ahead of him."

"Encouraging," Amelia said, not taking her eyes off the scans.

"Look, he went to several hospitals and all have told him he has two more months to live. I know you can give him his life back."

"Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful tumor, but deadly," Amelia said. "One wrong step and he's dead. Not even blind or deaf, or his memory gone. Dead."

"It's Herman all over again," said Arizona, looking through the patient's chart.

"That wasn't even _this_ dangerous. And she still came out of the surgery blind."

"I know it seems impossible, but I know you can do it," said Bailey. "You're the Chief of Neuro," she added, walking out of the room slowly. "And remember; she might be blind, but you gave Nicole her life back." Bailey smiled and disappeared around the corner.

"She's defiantly cut out to be a Chief," Amelia said, looking back at the scans.

"So you'll do this?" Arizona asked her.

"It's a massive challenge," she said. "But I love challenges," she smiled at Arizona.

Amelia took a copy of his chart and his scans home, so that she can study them. With this new challenge and life on her shoulders, they left the hospital to have lunch and forget about their problems for how long life will let them.

It was Sunday morning when Amelia sat down at the kitchen counter looking at the 30 year-old patient's chart and labs and scans and all his history that was needed. She had written down several ways to extract the tumor without killing the man but all of them seemed to have a dead end. In moments like this she would've wanted her brother more than anything.

"Morning," said a sleepy Arizona, as she stepped out of the bedroom. "What are you doing?"

"Thinking. Trying to save him," she answered. "Want some coffee?"

"Yes, please. Since when have you been awake?"

"That doesn't matter. I can't find a way to get through with the surgery from one point to another. The tumor has taken over almost his entire frontal lobe. His head movements, speech, behavior, everything. _His damn life!_ "said Amelia, handing Arizona a cup of coffee. Arizona remained quiet. She didn't know what to say. She was right. His life was in the game. Then again, every patient's life is in the game once they enter the OR and every surgeon's career. But that's what drew each of them towards it. The challenge; the game.

"I need Derek," Amelia said, sitting back down on the chair.

"Hey, you can do this. You saved Herman without Derek. _You_ can do this," Arizona said, taking her hand.

"I'm really unsure of my plan, though."

Arizona's eyes widened. "So you _have_ a plan?"

"Of course I do. But I'm not sure of it."

"It's good that you have one, it's a good start. Listen, tomorrow you can go over it with Bailey."

"I'm almost certain Bailey will not like it," Amelia told Arizona.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because it would involve keeping this man awake during the surgery."

Arizona started laughing and went on to make some breakfast, saying, "Yeah, I wish you good luck."

The next day, Arizona and Amy walked in the hospital, holding hands, smiling and talking. They spotted Owen waiting for an elevator. Arizona considered letting Amelia's hand go, but Amelia just held it tighter.

"Good morning," said Arizona smiling. Amelia said something similar and so did Owen. He stepped inside first and the couple stood in front of him, still holding hands.

"So I have to go talk to Bailey," Amelia said to Arizona, kissing her. It came as a surprise to Arizona, but she figured Amelia really didn't care anymore of what Owen thought. "See you later," she smiled at her partner and walked out of the elevator and soon as it reached the first floor. Arizona and Owen rode the elevator in silence. Owen was probably still sort of shocked after seeing the two women kiss, but Arizona didn't turn around to look at him. He got off on the next floor, saying, "Have a good day."

"You too," replied Arizona. _That's nice of you_ , she thought.

She got through half of her day which consisted of mostly surgeries and rounds. At lunch she spotted Amelia in the cafeteria sitting next to Bailey, so she headed towards them.

"But then you might damage his hearing," Arizona heard Bailey say as she approached the table.

"Hey," she said to the doctors. "How's it going?"

"Well, Bailey rejected my plan," said Amelia.

"It's too dangerous," Bailey told her.

"Didn't you do this once?" she asked Amelia. "Didn't this hospital do this multiple times?" Arizona asked.

"We actually did," Amelia said.

"But the tumor was not this invasive," the Chief shot back. "It wasn't this dangerous. Figure out something else, Shepherd." She stood up and walked out of the cafeteria.

"Right," said the brunette. "Figure out something else. Like it's that easy," she added.

"I know it's not easy," Arizona said. "But I also know you're a great neurosurgeon. And you will find a way."

"Well, in that case, I should go work," said Amelia standing up.

"See you at home," Arizona said. "You got this." Amelia just smiled at her and left. Not long after she left, Meredith and Maggie sat down next to Arizona.

"Hey. What's up?" Maggie asked.

"Not much," she answered.

"What's wrong with Amelia?" asked Meredith.

"Bailey's asked her to save a patient with an impossible tumor."

"Herman style tumor?"

"Yes."

"So… Sofia left?" Maggie asked.

"Yeah, Callie came after her on Saturday. You'll see her next for Christmas," Arizona said, taking a sip from her juice and finishing her meal.

"Oh," Meredith started. "Christmas… That's far away."

"It is. But she needs Callie too. It's all been very though and confusing for her. But she's a smart girl. She understands things so well."

"True," Maggie said.

In the evening after both Amelia and Arizona had arrived home, they talked and thought about the tumor and Amelia was ready to give up when she got a page from Bailey.

"He needs the surgery now," Amelia said with a voice and eyes that were screaming panic. "He's coding and he might be brain dead if we don't get in there now."

" _Go_!" Arizona yelled out.

"I don't have a plan," Amelia said, starting to freak out. "He can't be awake and I don't have a plan!"

"Get dressed, we're going to the hospital," Arizona demanded.

"Arizona!"

" _Now_!" Amelia listened to her and in 10 minutes they managed to arrive to the hospital.

"What happened?" Amelia barged in the patient's room.

"His heart stopped. The tumor is starting to take over his brain, you have to operate on him," Bailey said.

"I don't have a plan!" Amelia repeated for the hundredth time.

"Then just go in and get the damn tumor out!" Bailey said.

"Blindly?!" Amelia looked at the Chief of Surgery not knowing what to say.

"Blindly."

"If this goes wrong, it's on you."

Arizona went in the gallery to watch the surgery. Amelia scrubbed in and entered the OR. She opened his brain up and once she faced the tumor, Bokhee asked her what instrument she should hand her.

"Doctor?" Bokhee repeated. But Amelia didn't say anything. She stood and watched the tumor occupying more than half of his brain.


	9. Chapter 9

Several hours passed since Amelia entered the OR. She was analyzing ways to go around the tumor and take it out. Edwards had scrubbed in with her. She started working her way to the tumor, but Arizona was still uncertain if she had a definite plan of saving the man. Up in the gallery, Alex joined Arizona.

"How come you're here this late?" Arizona asked him.

"I'm on-call. You?" Alex asked seeing she wasn't in her scrubs.

"I came rushing in with Amelia when Bailey paged her," she explained.

"You know, you could be here all night if you want to watch the surgery."

"I know. I'm also here for her. She doesn't need me to watch her, but as long as I can keep my eyes open, I'm staying here," she said watching the neurosurgeon's movements.

"That's nice of you," Alex said, patting her shoulder.

"Well, I love her," Arizona said, not taking her eyes off the surgery, but also not realizing how she just laid her feelings out.

"You do?" This came as a surprise to Alex, obviously.

"I do," she said, smiling and turning to Alex. "I just need to find a way to tell her."

"Well, as long as you're certain about it, it doesn't matter how or where you'll tell her. Just, you know, don't do it while she's poking someone's brain," Alex joked.

"Right, I figured," she laughed.

Little after the conversation they remained quiet and Bailey came to see the surgery.

"Where is she?" the Chief asked, looking down to the surgery.

"I think she's getting ready to take it out soon," Arizona said.

"Robbins you're still here? Go get some sleep," Bailey said, sitting next to her.

"I'm good right here."

"It's past midnight. You have to work later today."

"I'm okay, I'll take an hour nap in an on-call room later," she said with a relaxed tone. "How much do you estimate she has left?"

"About two more hours if there are no complications," Miranda answered. As if the universe started laughing at Bailey's statement, the patent started coding. "Never mind that," Bailey added.

"Doctor, he's crashing," Bokhee said.

"Give me one minute," Amelia said.

"Dr. Shepherd, he doesn't have one," Edwards said. "Bring the paddles," she ordered to a nurse.

"I said one minute," Amelia insisted.

"Charge to 220," Edwards continued.

" _Hold the shocks_!" Amelia's voice was loud, yet focused.

"Dr. Shepherd," Edwards emphasized.

Amelia moved as quick as she could, but it still took a whole important minute for her to finish. "Okay, go."

"Clear," Edwards announced. Luckily, his heartbeat came back to normal.

"Okay, let's keep this going," Amelia said retaking her place.

"I'm still betting on two hours," said Bailey, as she stepped out of the gallery.

As Bailey predicted, it took about two more hours and the patient was in the ICU. He was stable, tumor free. The only thing left was to see if he had any function working: vision, speech and hearing. After scrubbing out, Amelia met Arizona in the hall and stepped in an on-call room to sleep the couple of hours left before their work day really began. They cuddled in a bed and dozed off immediately, both of them.

In exactly three hours Arizona's pager went off. The last thing she wanted to do now was to leave Amelia's warm and safe arms, but every time her pager beeped meant a kid or a mother was dying and she wouldn't let that happen. That thought sort of motivated her, so she got up. Amelia didn't even flinch, she was that tired. She gave her a small kiss on her cheek and went to her emergency. As soon as she reached Emily Jackson's room, the patient with the GSW to the shoulder, Wilson informed her on the problem.

"I took her to CT earlier today and the scans showed a triple A," Jo said.

"The wall of the aorta is way too thin," Arizona said to herself more than to Jo. "It could burst at any time, we have to go now."

Wilson booked an OR and prepped the patient. Fortunately, they got in time and saved the girl. After the procedure, Arizona was checking the surgical board and seeing neither she, nor Amelia had many surgeries for today, she went to look for her. First thing that jumped into her mind was the attending's lounge, but she wasn't there. Remembering the nap they had earlier, she went to that on-call room again. When they walked into it hours ago, they were so sleepy Arizona didn't realize it was the on-call room where Amelia first had found her crying. To her surprise, Amelia was still there, sleeping. She closed the door and sat down next to her. She knew she had surgery later, so she figured she was better to wake her than the pager.

"Amy," Arizona said in her quiet, yet seductive voice.

Amelia started to open her eyes and she smiled when she saw Arizona. "I love it when you call me like that," she said, still sleepy.

"So do I. Now, I'm sorry to say this, but you have to wake up. You'll have surgery soon."

"Okay, thanks," Amelia said, as she got up.

"By the way, I checked and today we get out early. I thought we could go home and, you know," said Arizona giving her a look. Amelia knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Oh, right," Amelia said. "So it's tonight."

"It's tonight," Arizona said leaning in for a kiss. Amelia kissed her harder, pulling her closer. "Hey, I said tonight, not now," she laughed.

Amelia growled and got up to stretch. "Fine, but don't complain when I'll be teasing you cause you teased me all the time."

"Oh, so that's how we're playing. Very well," Arizona said, going towards the door. "See you later, Dr. Shepherd." Arizona smiled and left the room.

As planned, they both managed to get off work around 6 in the afternoon. Once they got home, Arizona went in the bedroom to change her clothes. She didn't quite get to do that, as Amelia suddenly pulled her in and started to kiss her fiercely. As she pushed her down on the mattress, she added her tongue to it, and Arizona matched her moves. She took Arizona's top off, leaving her in a black laced bra. She took that off too, leaving the blonde with only her jeans left. Amelia kissed her neck, and drifted down to her breasts, without her mouth leaving Arizona's soft skin. She took her pants and prosthetic off and as she did, she could feel the blonde's nails grazing her hands. When her mouth found Arizona's again, her hand drifted down to Arizona's thighs. As she bit the other woman's earlobe, she began teasing her. At first she circled Arizona's center, nibbling at her breasts.

"Amelia," Arizona tried to say, but failed. She was breathing heavily and Amelia couldn't enjoy it more.

"What?" she asked in her low, hoarse voice which drove Arizona crazy.

"Please," was the only thing she was able to say. But Amelia wasn't done with her teasing. Only then she began pushing her finger inside Arizona's center. Her pace was slow, as if Arizona had done something really terrible to get this kind of treatment. She added a second finger, enhancing her velocity. Soon enough Arizona matched Amelia's thrusts, running her hand in Amelia's hair and pulling it. Amelia knew Arizona was close so she went faster and faster until Arizona was finally over the edge. Amelia crashed next to Arizona, both of them breathing heavily.

"You're surprisingly good," said Arizona, turning to her. "Let me see if I can top that," she added, taking Amelia's pants off.

After the adrenaline has passed, Arizona was lying next to Amelia, smiling to her lover.

"What?" Amelia asked.

"You're gorgeous," Arizona said. Her next words almost came naturally, but she had to stop for a moment before saying them. Her expression went serious for a bit, just until she could confess. "And I love you," she added in a soft voice. She was scared to say it. She was scared of her reaction, but she loved her and she wanted her to know. This wasn't rushing anymore. This was her confessing to the woman she admired and loved a lot.

Amelia looked into her blue eyes, in the eyes she can get lost so easily, and said, "I'm glad I can say the same thing."

"What?" Arizona asked, more to be sure that Amelia actually said it.

"You're stunning," Amelia said. "And I love you," she continued. Her face wasn't as grave as Arizona's was.

"You really do?" Arizona asked innocently.

"I really do," Amelia said, smiling kindly. She kissed her softly and she could feel Arizona smiling against her lips.

They stayed in bed, without talking, just lying next to each other. Amelia was playing with Arizona's hair when she asked her, ''Do you ever want to have another kid?''

''I don't know,'' she said. ''I think I might. I love Sofia very much and getting to raise her and be there with her was something really special and good. Heartwarming, you know? Getting to see them grow older and become this amazing person.''

''I don't exactly know how it feels. My baby lived for 43 minutes.'' Arizona turned her head to Amelia. ''I didn't get to see him grow up and become an amazing person. I didn't get to watch him tie his own shoelaces or hold a fork by himself or draw.'' Her voice was low, quiet. She was looking down, not in Arizona's eyes that were focused on her. ''I always wanted to have a child and I always waited for the right moment. Except it's never the right moment, you know?'' Arizona nodded. Amelia waited a minute before saying her final words. ''Arizona, I want to have a child with you,'' she said, finally meeting her gaze. "I want a family with you.''

Arizona didn't take her eyes off her. She was in love with Amelia. She wanted something with her too, something big and steady. A family. A home. ''I want a family with you too, Amelia.''

Amelia smiled widely and so did Arizona. They had found each other. They were together and nothing stood in their way. It was just them. "Let's make a baby then,'' said Amelia, kissing her firmly.


	10. Chapter 10

When Arizona woke up next morning, she immediately felt Amelia's absence in the bed. After Callie left, she got used to sleeping alone. From time to time, when she had nightmares, or when Sofia had nightmares, she'd hold her daughter. But now she was been sharing a bed with Amelia for quite some time and she adjusted to her presence.

As she opened her eyes and looked around the room, she saw no sign of Amelia, but felt the smell of fresh coffee. Then her girlfriend walked in the bedroom, holding two cups.

She smiled to Arizona, who was still sleepy. "Good morning sunshine," she said as she extended her the cup of coffee.

"Oh, you're the best," Arizona said as she kissed Amelia shortly before taking a long sip of her freshly prepared drink.

"So I checked in with the hospital and we have one more hour before we have to go in," the brunette said as she settled back in the bed. "There were no emergencies, only the scheduled surgeries."

"Really, what did I do to deserve you?"

"I also booked a table at the restaurant downtown for tonight," she continued casually, taking sips of her coffee.

Arizona watched her lover with soft, yet questioning eyes. "Did you do something and you're just trying to get away with it?" she asked and laughed softly.

"What?" she asked confused, but visibly amused. "You deserve it." She smiled at Arizona. She placed both of their cups on the nightstand and kissed Amelia passionately.

She parted from her lips and looked in Amelia's blue eyes. Something was off. She was able to notice when something was wrong after staring so many times into her eyes and knowing how every emotion looks like on her. She noticed uncertainty, doubt. She frowned slightly, asking, "Is something wrong?"

Proving something _was_ wrong, Amelia simply answered, "No, nothing's wrong. I just… no, it's nothing. I don't want to ruin this." She smiled to Arizona, trying to cover the truth.

"Tell me, please," she said softly. "If something's wrong, I want to know."

"It's about… about what we talked last night." Arizona furrowed her brow, clearly thinking about what they talked last night. Amelia brought up the kids subject. They were both quite excited about it, deciding they wanted one. Surely they didn't get very far with the details as other things unfolded, but they were going to.

"It was about kids, right? About a future kid," Arizona said, her smile now fading away.

"Yes. I was thinking… maybe we shouldn't hurry." Seeing Arizona perplexed, she continued. "I mean I want a baby, at some point. But I thought maybe now we should focus on… us?" She ended her sentence with a questioning tone, as if she wasn't even sure of what she was saying.

"So you don't want a baby; not now." Arizona tried to understand, to see what she meant. "I thought you were ready."

"I am, I'm just… I guess I'm scared. Terrified, really."

"Because of your…" Arizona started saying, but Amelia quickly nodded, understanding what she was talking about. "Look if you don't want to, we don't have to. I know what you feel, I was there too. But I want you to know what it feels like to get to raise one of your own, to watch them in complete adoration as they do the smallest things…" She laughed a little, knowing how good it felt. "I want you to know."

Amelia smiled and nodded, her eyes watering.

Their trains of thoughts were interrupted by the loudly beeping pagers. "Well, there we go," said Arizona.

Amelia quickly checked her phone and saw it was all over the news. "There was a huge fire downtown. So there'll be many burns," she said, as she got up.

"We better hurry," Arizona said as she fixed her prosthetic. She wasn't exactly done with the baby talk, but she told herself she'd get back at it.

In almost no time they were in the hospital and as soon as they changed in their scrubs, they ran down to the ER. The emergency room was packed, patients with all kinds of burns lying in beds. This wasn't something they hadn't seen before; they were already used to it.

They spotted Avery who was giving directions to everybody, helped by Owen.

"Shepherd!" They heard Jackson calling. "Trauma room 6 please and Robbins 7 and 8," he said.

"What happened?" Arizona asked as she put her yellow gown on.

"A gas pipe exploded in a home and the fire took two more before the firefighters got there."

"Gosh, okay, let's see," Arizona said, making her way to Trauma room 7. "Dr. Wilson, fill me in," she said, putting her gloves on and looking at the scans.

"Casey Douglas, 9, right shoulder and thigh burns, also complaining of internal pain," Jo said as she was filling his chart.

"Hello Casey, I'm Dr. Robbins," she said in her cheery voice. "How are you feeling?"

"My shoulder and leg really hurt and I feel like something inside is squeezing my chest," he said.

"Alright, let's have a look," she said. She peeled off the gauze and looked at his burn. After examining his thigh wound as well, she said, "Well your burns burn doesn't look bad, you won't need surgery. They are first-degree burns, which mean that it involves only your first layer of skin, which will quickly heal. Now let's check your chest."

She turned to Wilson who studied the scans as well.

"Should we page Pierce?"

"He said he's got discomfort, so yes, she should check it."

She moved to the next patient, a 7-month pregnant woman.

"Coleen Jones, 30, 28 weeks pregnant. Second-degree burns to the neck," April spoke out as she was treating her wounded area. "She's complaining of pain in the abdominal area."

"Coleen, I'm Dr. Robbins, I'm a fetal surgeon," Arizona told the suffering patient.

"Can you please tell me if my baby is alright?" Coleen said.

"Right away, don't worry." Arizona took the gel and the fetal monitor. It didn't take her long to notice there was a rupture and some hemorrhage inside her stomach. "Coleen, did you fall recently? Perhaps when you were trying to exit the house?"

"Yes, I tripped on the stairs in front of my home when I was making my way out. Is everything okay?"

"You are bleeding inside your stomach, but don't worry, it's a quick and easy fix, it won't take long. And the rupture is nowhere near your baby, so he's not going to be bothered," Arizona added with an encouraging smile on her face anybody could use. "How's her neck?"

"I have to treat this, but I'll be done soon. I'll page you when you can go in," April said.

"Alright, thanks," she said and looked around the room to see which resident was there. "Edwards, book an OR and scrub in with me."

"Will do, Dr. Robbins."

Arizona walked out the trauma room and headed towards the cafeteria in hopes to grab an apple before her surgery. When she entered, she noticed Amelia was there, sitting at a table with Maggie, chatting and eating.

"Hey," Arizona greeted as she approached them. She sat down and smiled at her friends.

"You're done with the ER?" Maggie asked.

"Yeah, I had a second-degree and a first-degree. They're both fine," she said as she started biting into her apple. "Oh, the first-degree burn; Casey Douglas needed a cardio exam."

"Right, yes, I checked on him and gave him medication," Maggie replied and Arizona nodded.

"There were so many kids there hurt by the fire," Amelia said and Arizona sensed something from this morning's conversation. Amelia had the same frightened look. "It really makes you think twice."

"Before what?" Arizona asked. Her eyes were focused on Amelia.

"Before having one of your own. There's just so much danger in the world, it's getting really hard to just think about it."

"Yes, but I mean there's always been danger. And danger will always be around. That shouldn't stop us from having a family if we want to," Arizona said. She might've sounded a bit harsh, but she didn't want to take it back.

Amelia looked up in Arizona's eyes, troubled.

"Am I missing out on something?" Maggie asked, clearly confused by the entire conversation.

"We were thinking of having a kid," Arizona said as she looked at Maggie and watched her eyes brighten up.

"You're having a baby?" She sounded as excited as she looked.

"Well, we were considering it," Amelia answered.

"Yeah, _considering_ it," Arizona said. She stood up and before she walked away, she smiled and added, "I have surgery, but I'll see you later." She looked at Maggie and then Amelia, only to find her looking confused and slightly irritated.

Right as she left the table, her pager beeped informing her that Coleen was ready for surgery. She shook her head of all distractions and thoughts and plans and went on to perform the surgery.

As she said, it was a quick fix and she was done in almost no time. Now the patient was in recovery and she headed to the board to check her surgeries. She took her phone out and noticed she received a message from Amelia not long ago that read " _We're still on for tonight?"_

She remembered Amelia made reservations to the restaurant that happened to be her favorite. Amelia didn't know because they hadn't discussed restaurants and such, but it was. She flashed a small smile and closed her eyes. It was a bit of a challenging phase they were going through, but she couldn't lose her.

She texted back " _Definitely_ " and she continued to smile. They were going to get through this.

Her phone buzzed not long after she sent the text.

 _"_ _Meet you at 8 in the lobby?"_

 _"_ _Sure thing."_

She slid her phone back in her pocket and went on to do her next surgery.

At 8 o'clock she made her appearance in the lobby and spotted Amelia waiting for her. This morning she didn't pay attention to what she picked out to wear with the emergency and all, but now that she saw her and wasn't in a hurry, she noticed she was wearing a crimson shirt matched with a black coat and high-heeled boots. She touched up her make-up and fixed her hair and now Arizona was feeling embarrassed.

"You are very beautiful," Arizona said and kissed her. Amelia smiled against the kiss. "And I look like a mess," she added and pressed the elevator button.

"You do _not_ look like a mess," Amelia reassured her and intertwined her fingers with Arizona's.

"I don't even have make-up on," she said.

"You don't need it." Arizona rolled her eyes and snorted.

They chatted on the way to the restaurant but none of them brought up the baby subject. Not even during the dinner. But it became inevitable and quite obvious they both were thinking about the same thing.

Arizona tilted her head, not taking her eyes off Amelia. Amelia's eyes were wondering everywhere around the room expect for her lover.

"Amelia," Arizona spoke softly, but Amelia still didn't look at her. Only when she took her hand she finally met her gaze.

She knew what she was avoiding. She was avoiding fighting, disagreeing and making a decision which might cost them more than they wished for.

"Arizona, I don't want to lose you. I know we wanted the same thing, but I started having doubts and I just… I don't know," she said, clearly anxious.

But Arizona was composed. "Doubts about having a family with me?"

Amelia looked at her startled. She took her hand out of Arizona's touch and gathered her words. Her expression became grave. "This is not about you. It's not about whether I want a family with you or not. Of course I want it with you, who else?" She raised her tone slightly. "This is about delivering a child into a world with so many insecurities and risks. About not being 100% sure he or she will have a safe and bright life."

Arizona puffed. "Do you think danger occurred in the last 10 years? You think it wasn't present and more pressuring back in war time? When people had little to nothing to eat, not to mention any safety? This, what we have today, this is totally different compared to those times. Amelia, anyone can tell you the perfect time to have a kid is never. If you want a family, if you want to raise a child, then you don't have to wait. You don't wait until it's too late."

Amelia looked away, searching for the waiter and as soon as she noticed him, she waved to him for the check.

"Amelia, I understand what you are saying. I see what you see," she said but stopped when the waiter brought the check.

"Thank you," Amelia smiled to him and as soon as she left the money, she looked back up at Arizona and told her, "You don't see what I see."

She stood up and Arizona understood they were leaving. She sighed and followed Amelia to the car. They didn't say anything the entire road. But as soon as they got home, Amelia repeated what she last said.

"You don't see what I see because even though we both lost our babies, it was different. You keep on saying you understand what I went through, but no. Unless your experience is the same as mine, then no, you can't understand. You lost your pregnancy, but I gave birth to my boy knowing he has no brain, knowing there'll be no future for him. I had to…" her voice started shaking, her eyes watering up. She sniffed and took a breath. "I had to hold him until he would die. I saw him, I saw his features and I will forever have his image printed in my mind." Arizona didn't take her eyes off her, but she changed her expression. Her eyes softened. She knew Amelia was right, she knew their stories were different. "Arizona, I'm scared of having another one because what if… what if it will be the same?"

Arizona approached her, wanting to take her hand, but Amelia backed off slowly. "I…" Amelia closed her eyes, and added, "I'm very tired; I'm going to sleep."

Arizona watched her turn and walk towards her bedroom. She felt like she might break inside, yet again. Her eyes glanced at Sofia's bedroom. She was missing her daughter terribly. In moments like this, she'd go to her and watch her draw or just listen to her talking about the most ridiculous things, but she would feel so much better.

She was tired too. She headed towards the bedroom and changed into her pyjamas. She slipped under the covers and turned away from Amelia's side of the bed. Amelia was taking a shower but as soon as she got in bed too, even though she was there now, she still felt like it was empty. She so badly wanted to turn and hold Amelia. She was feeling really bad; she knew very well that this was a sensitive subject. She wanted to forget everything and just be there for her. But ultimately she had to get used to the thought that they both needed a bit of space.

There was no connection between the two right now, not like most of the times when they'd fall asleep in each other's arms. But now… now the bed was occupied by two people who felt very distant from each other.

At least for now.


	11. Chapter 11

_THE NEXT MORNING_

As she opened her eyes, all she saw was a big, white opening. At first everything was blurry, but then her vision cleared up and she started putting the pieces together. She smelled burned metal and smoke. She felt an immense pressure on her left leg. She felt something sharp impaling her limb and as she extended a shaking hand to the hurt area, she touched something wet.

She started to panic and her breath was fast and uneven.

 _No_ , she thought. _Not again_.

Scared to raise her head and look around, she shut her eyes tightly, hoping she would wake up. But she didn't.

All she wanted to do was to open her eyes, but to open them and face the reality, not a dream. But the pain in her leg was more than throbbing, so she knew she was there again. So the only thing she could do was look up. Face the past. The past would always come back haunting.

She discovered what she knew so well. The woods. There were the plane parts, all wrecked and covered in mud and soot. The part that was over her leg was a big portion of what used to be the aircraft. She tried to lift it up, but she couldn't. Her whole body was shaking and shock and pain traveled throughout her.

She opened her mouth to scream for help, but nothing came out. She was unable to form any words, not even a whisper. But despite the fact that no sound came out of her mouth, her throat still hurt like all she did was screamed.

Still, she was able to hear. She heard a muffled scream somewhere far away. Somebody else was screaming a name; repeating it again and again. Aside all of the overwrought sounds, one that was louder than all was a frantic, concerned voice calling _her_ ; repeating _her_ name.

When she opened her eyes a second time, she looked around rapidly only to find her familiar bedroom and a firm hand on her right shoulder.

"Arizona," she heard the same voice again, and she turned to see Amelia. "Are you okay?"

Arizona sighed in relief; it was just a dream, again. She ran a hand through her hair and shook her head. "I'm fine, go back to sleep."

"Arizona, you were screaming and kicking. What was that about?" Arizona looked at her again, the nightstand lamp giving off a dim light, and as if she read her mind, Amelia released a breath, saying, "Oh, the plane crash again."

The blonde nodded. She was still trembling a little. She reached over to the nightstand and checked the hour. "We still have a few more hours, you should really rest."

Even though she was thrown back in time in her dream, she still knew very well what was going on in the present. They still needed their space, the time to think.

"Look, I know we're not all pink and bright right now, but I can be here if you need me," Amelia was kind, but her attitude was still dispersed.

Arizona flashed a small smile and replied, "It's okay; it's the usual nightmare, nothing different." But she lied. This time the pain was worse, more realistic and lifelike than ever.

Amelia nodded and went back to sleep. Arizona tried to do so too, but she couldn't. Usually after such nightmares, she was reminded of the disaster and what followed. So she stared at the ceiling until she couldn't bear any more thinking and staring.

She stood up and quietly picked out some clothes. If she couldn't sleep, at least she'd go in and see if there's anything she can do. Start her day early and do more.

Before she exited the room, she took one last glance at Amelia and sighed. It was their first real fight and she despised being this distant from Amelia; and it had been just one night. She already hated it.

She arrived in the hospital quickly and as soon as she changed in her scrubs, she went down to the ER. Owen was there, arranging some files.

"Hey there," Arizona smiled at him. "Are you on-call?"

Owen returned Arizona's smile. "I am, but as far as I know you're not. What are you doing here?"

"I… couldn't sleep. I had one of _the_ nightmares and… here I am," she said.

"Right," he said empathetically. "Well, there are no emergencies for now, but there are surgeries."

"Exactly, so I'm going to get started."

Looking at the board, she saw she actually had plenty of surgeries for the day. Maybe she should just burry herself in procedures and saving people and the time would just pass. She knew it was no fix, but she wanted an escape for a bit.

She started an early round on her patients, pleased to discover everyone was doing just fine. When she reached Coleen Jones' room, she noticed her light was on and she was reading, not like the other patients who were asleep.

"Good morning Colleen," Arizona said, entering the room.

"Morning Dr. Robbins. How come you're here so early?" She put her book down and turned her attention to the blonde.

"Rough night, shall we say," Arizona said as she listened to the patient's heartbeat. "So I'm getting more work done."

"That's a really good way to turn a bad day into a good one," the patient admitted.

"I've always looked for the positive side in anything," Arizona said, grinning. As she checked the fetus, she asked, "And you? How come _you're_ not sleeping?"

"Baby's kicking. When he's active, I can't really rest."

"Well, he is doing great. Active is good. And your incision is healed, which means you can go home," the fetal surgeon announced.

"Really? Oh, that's great," Colleen sighed in relief.

"I'm going to come back later with the discharge papers," Arizona said, making her way to the door. "And you know; rest up." They both laughed and Arizona went on to do her first surgery.

That's what she did all day. Surgeries; saved lives. She didn't go to the cafeteria, or to the attending's lounge. She didn't really see any of her friends today, only Alex a couple of times. She wanted to ask him about Amelia, whether he'd seen her or not, but she thought better of it. She knew there'd be questions in a way or another and she was in no mood of answering any. So she just did her job.

When she finished her work, she changed and decided it was time to go home. As she waited for the elevator, she checked her clock and to her surprise, it was almost 11 PM.

 _When did time fly…?_

At home all the lights were out, expect for a dim light coming the bedroom. Making her way to the room, she realized Amelia was reading. Or had been reading. Now her eyes were closed and the book on her stomach, unclosed. Usually when she was tired, she'd just go to sleep. She was obviously tired, but tried to stay awake. She fell asleep waiting for Arizona.

She tried to move silently, but the other woman still woke up. "Hey." Her sleepy voice made Arizona's head turn. "I haven't seen you all day."

"Yeah, I know, I… I couldn't sleep, so I went to work," she said as she took her clothes and prosthetic off. "And at work I operated all day. I didn't even realize how time passed."

"Oh…" Amelia looked away. "I was kind of worried this morning, since you were gone. But I figured you might be there."

Arizona was climbing in the bed when she asked the brunette how her day went.

"It was good, I did the same thing. Worked," Amelia replied and hesitantly asked, "Do you want to talk about… last night?"

She did. Arizona really did want to talk. She shook her head and answered, "Not now. I'm exhausted. But I will want to." Her response didn't take Amelia by surprise. As if she was expecting it, Amelia nodded and showed a weak smile. They lay down and again, they turned away from each other.

 _I really hate this_ , Arizona last thought before she fell asleep.

 _FIVE DAYS LATER_

It was 9 PM. The two women were sitting at the dinner table, eating take-out. They were talking more now, so when they left from work they decided to grab some food and eat together at home. Yet, the atmosphere was still stiff. The troubling subject was yet not brought up.

They made small talk over work related stuff and even laughed a bit, but they still felt a bit reserved from each other. Truth was, both of them were afraid to bring up the subject. So they didn't.

After wishing each other good night, they lay down. This time though none of them turned their backs to each other. Not like in the previous nights. This time they both lay on their backs, a bit closer to each other. Truly, every night since the fight, even though they weren't facing the other one, they still lay closer and closer to each other, closing the gap between them gradually. Letting each other in again, slowly.

And this time their shoulders were almost touching. This time they could hear each other's short breaths and if they listened carefully, the other one's rapidly beating heart.

It came as a surprise to both of them when Amelia reached over to take Arizona's hand. Arizona's heartbeat went even crazier, but she didn't hesitate to take it. The connection between the two was growing. Slowly, and painfully, but it was growing.

When they woke up next morning their hands were still linked together.

 _Soon_ , Arizona thought and smiled.

 _THREE DAYS LATER_

They were definitely making progress. They were talking freely to each other, laughing. They drove to work together and when they had a free evening they sat down to watch the TV. At night they fell asleep facing each other.

But every time Amelia extended her hand to take Arizona's, she did it hesitantly. And when Arizona smiled and took her hand confidently, courage and hope grew bigger and bigger in their hearts.

However, since that morning, they hadn't kissed. They held hands and shared a few kisses on the cheek, but not the real, passionate kind that makes you want more. The one that makes you long for the person you love.

One night they were watching a crappy movie and laughing about the smallest things when Arizona turned her head to look at Amelia, watching her radiant smile and her eyes shining happily. They were having fun, feeling happy after so long.

Noticing she was the only one laughing, Amelia looked at Arizona and her laugh died out, but her smile still remained. Arizona looked at her with her dreamy eyes, and said, "I really missed you."

"I missed you too," Amelia tiled her head and her smile faded too, her eyes moving from Arizona's eyes to her lips. In that moment they both realized how long it has been since they kissed. And the way they were sitting reminded Arizona the first time they were both here, the first time Amelia kissed her.

She smiled at the memory, and repeated Amelia's movements from months ago. She took her face in one hand and she drew closer to the other woman. Ignoring her heart beat like crazy again, she finally closed the gap between them completely. Amelia's lips were soft as always, warming and welcoming. Amelia kissed her back harder and enjoyed the moment to its fullest. When they parted from each other, smiles showed on the two woman's faces.

Amelia stood up and extended her hand without hesitation to the blonde and said, "Come on; it's been a long day." She was clearly thinking of that night too. Arizona laughed and followed her lead to the bedroom.

As they lay down in bed, Arizona cuddled in Amelia's arms, finally connecting, finally letting each other in fully.

 _At last_ , Arizona thought happily.

 _THE NEXT DAY_

"So I had Edwards on my service today," Arizona said as she took off her coat and her bag. She kicked off her shoes and went to the kitchen. "She's pretty good."

"Well you obviously didn't get to spend enough time with her because she's more than 'pretty good'", Amelia said defensively, following the blonde. "She's got big talent."

"Yes, for neuro. She's clearly made for it," Arizona continued. "I was just saying don't worry, I'm not stealing her. She's in love with you and your field." She laughed and started preparing the dinner.

"Well, what can I say? I'm hard not to fall for," she joked.

"That's true," Arizona smiled and winked at her.

Amelia laughed but then got serious. It was inevitable. At one point, they had to discuss it. It couldn't stay in the dark forever. This wasn't something they'd just hide under the rag and forget about it. No, this was important.

"I want to do it," Amelia suddenly said. Arizona turned to her. At first she was confused, but then she got it. "I want to have a baby with you, a family. I want to see him or her grow. I want to be a mother." Amelia showed a frail smile. "But if it happens again, if by any chance the baby's not going to make it again… it'll be the end of me." Arizona frowned and approached her. "I will never be able to recover."

Arizona looked at her not with pity, but with compassion. "Look, Amelia, I can't promise you everything will go as planned. I can't promise you there won't be any surprises or bumps in the road. I can't promise anything. That's not up to me and you know it very well." Amelia nodded slowly and bit her lower lip. "But," Arizona's voice shifted to a happier one, remaining to its soft tone, "what I can tell you for sure is what will come after. If everything's good, if everything goes well… it'll be like something you've never experienced before. It'll be a whole new and different level of happiness and satisfaction."

Amelia smiled genuinely and her eyes were shining. There were tears, yes, but Arizona hoped to God they were happy tears. She continued. "And no matter how this goes down, I'll be here. I'll stay by your side. If we get there, we'll get through it together. I won't leave you."

Amelia stood up from the chair she was sitting on and kissed Arizona devotedly. She hugged her lovingly, like life would take her away from her. Arizona meant every word she said. Whatever happened, they had each other.

As they parted, Arizona asked her, "So are you sure?"

Amelia nodded, and said, "I'm sure. I want this."


	12. Chapter 12

_SEVEN MONTHS LATER_

As the alarm went off, Amelia woke up first and stopped it. She looked over to Arizona, who was still sleeping. She woke her up with a small kiss on the cheek. "Good morning sunshine. How are you?"

Arizona smiled, as she started to wake up. This was certainly a perfect way to wake up every day. "I'm good. How did you sleep?"

"Very well; any morning sickness?"

"No. Not yet anyway."

"That's great. I'll go make coffee, you take your time." Arizona watched her lover walk out of the room and she thought of how great things were. Sofia was coming home in a week for Christmas, Amelia was an amazing partner and she was very grateful for her, especially around this time when she was six months pregnant already. Amelia was dealing with her cranky, bitchy attitude incredibly well. This pregnancy showed Arizona just how much Amelia really loved her and how she was ready to be there no matter what, despite the doubts she had in the beginning.

Arizona stood up and after putting her prosthetic on, she looked down at her belly and smiled to herself, to the life she now has. She looked outside the window and noticed that there was a fresh layer of snow on the streets.

"It's snowing so beautifully," Amelia said, smiling.

"Yeah, I think we can expect something big today."

"Let's not make predictions we don't want to happen," Amelia said, giving her the coffee.

"I'm just saying, every year something big happens around Christmas," Arizona said, sitting down.

"People trying to put lights up their house are really handy."

"Yeah, and not just them," said Arizona. "Ouch," she said, frowning and looking at her stomach. "Someone's in mood for kicking this morning."

"You think we can find out the gender today?" Amelia asked.

"Oh, the gender… it didn't even really cross my mind until now," Arizona admitted. "I didn't know if you wanted to find out or not, so I kind of put the thought aside."

"I want to know. Unless you want it to be a surprise," Amelia said, but she looked like the second option didn't really suit her wishes.

"No, not really; besides, if you want to, I'll ask Karev to examine me," said Arizona, strongly feeling the baby's kicks. "Well, he or she is excited too," she said running a hand over her belly and frowning slightly.

"Hey, be good to Mommy, okay?" Amelia told the baby inside of Arizona's stomach. Her voice was soft and funny and it made Arizona laugh.

After their morning coffee, they got ready and went to work. They spotted Alex in the hall, studying a chart and they went up to talk to him.

"Just the person I wanted to see," said Arizona in the perky voice that's characterized her for so long. "Karev, I need you to do an exam please."

"Sure, who's the patient?"

"Me," she answered. He looked confused at the couple.

"We need you to do an ultrasound," Amelia said. "We'd like to find out whether he baby's a he or a she. And if he or she's feeling good," she added.

"Oh, right. Yes, sure. Let's go."

They went in an exam room and Arizona sat up on the table, holding Amelia's hand tightly. "It's going to be fine," she reassured Arizona.

"Alright, there's the head and brain," Alex said, after a minute that certainly felt like an eternity to both Arizona and Amelia. Arizona could feel her heartbeat going crazy. "…8, 9, 10 fingers," he added. "Aaaand 20 more at his feet."

The two women sighed in relief, but the relief didn't last as long as they wished. "Crap," he said. The worried, scared-to-death looks went back on their faces.

"What?" Amelia asked. "What's wrong?"

"Baby's a girl," he said casually and sort of dissatisfied. "Other than that, it's all good." He was joking, obviously. Amelia closed her eyes, releasing a long held breath.

Arizona punched him hard in the forearm. "ASS,"she said. "You scared the life out of me."

"I'm kidding, she looks beautiful," he said, smiling. He hadn't lost the trace of sarcasm in his voice and attitude he always had. "And here's the heartbeat," he said, turning the monitor towards the two mothers. They both smiled and Arizona could feel her eyes tearing up. She looked at Amelia who was crying too.

"She has a brain," Amelia said, her voice breaking. "She's…" She couldn't continue.

"Thanks, Alex," Arizona said.

"No problem," he said, walking toward the door. Before leaving, he turned and said, "Congratulations, Robbins," he smiled and walked out.

Arizona pulled Amelia's head to her shoulder, saying, "She's our baby girl. And she has a brain and she's healthy," said Arizona her voice quiet and relaxing. Amelia nodded and looked up at Arizona.

"She's going to live."

"She's going to live." Arizona continued, closing her eyes.

Amelia wiped her tears off and kissed Arizona happily. They went to change into their scrubs and in the attending's lounge April and Cristina were talking. When the two surgeons walked in, April almost jumped in Arizona's embrace to hug her and congratulate her. She did the same thing when she found out she was pregnant, and the enthusiasm didn't dull out after six months. Arizona loved April's energy a lot.

"I've heard the news, congratulations!" April said, hugging her friend.

"News travels way too fast in this hospital," Amelia said, joking.

"Come here," April said, congratulating her too.

"Thanks, but Arizona's the real fighter here," Amelia said.

"No, don't say that. You have to deal with my crap every single day," Arizona said truthfully.

"And I'm more than happy to."

"Aww, you guys are so cute," April said.

They all smiled and Cristina congratulated them as well. In her own reserved way, but added a smile to it. She might've not been one to have kids of her own, but it didn't mean she couldn't be happy for her friends.

"Thank you," Amelia said. "How are you and Owen?" she asked politely.

"We're good, thanks," Cristina smiled, leaving the room.

"That was nice of you," Arizona said.

"That was nice of her," Amelia replied.

As they all changed into their scrubs, Meredith walked in. "Hey, congrats on the baby," she said to the couple. She found out weeks ago too, but finding out the gender and whether they're okay or not is a big and important step.

"Thank you," Arizona said. "I wonder if the nurses know about it yet."

Meredith laughed and asked, "Boy or girl?"

"Girl," Amelia answered. "We've got a gorgeous girl." She smiled widely.

"Well you're radiant," Mer joked.

"I am. I am happy," Amelia answered. Right when she wanted to say something, the pagers went off almost at the same time.

"MVC coming in," April announced. "Let's go."

"What did I tell you?" Arizona told Amelia.

"Yeah, I was hoping you don't always have to be right."

Arizona smiled and they ran to the ER.

"Where do you need me?" Arizona asked Owen.

"Traumas 1 and 4," he said. "Amelia, Trauma 4 please. Oh, congrats to you both," he said to Arizona and Amelia and gave them a small smile.

"They were all so nice," Amelia said.

"Yes, well, it's a baby we're talking of," Arizona said and Amelia laughed, entering the Trauma room.

"What do we have?" Arizona asked Edwards, once she saw the patient.

"Kevin Williams, 5, wound to the abdomen. He wasn't wearing a seatbelt when the cars crashed."

"Classic," Arizona said as she stepped up to examine him. "Abdomen's rigid, order a CT."

"Will do," Stephanie said.

"And muffled heart sounds, page Dr. Yang," Arizona added. "Okay, supervise him and page me when you to the results back." Edwards nodded to the pediatric surgeon.

She went on to Trauma room 4. Amelia was cleaning a head wound and DeLuca was stitching up the patient's arm.

"Johanna Riley, 14, she was driving shotgun and flew out the window when the other car hit them from behind," Andrew said, as Arizona walked in. "She wasn't wearing a seatbelt."

"My God, _seriously_?" she said as she examined her stomach. "When will parents start being _responsible_?" She raised her voice. "It's not so hard to tell them to buckle their _goddamn seatbelts_!" DeLuca stopped and looked at her.

"Dr. Robbins, is everything okay?"

"I've got pregnancy hormones, okay?" Arizona said, still mad. She was examining the abdominal area and frowned as she saw the damage.

"Okay," he said, more to himself. Amelia smiled sneakily at Arizona's behavior.

"Crap, she's going to bleed to death if I don't take her now," Arizona said.

"I'm almost done here," Amelia said.

"DeLuca, book an OR after you're done, please. You're scrubbing in," she said.

"Really?" he said surprised.

"You think I'm in the mood of joking right now?"

"No, ma'am."

" _Great_ ," Arizona said louder, exiting the room.

Once she went across the hall, Edwards ran up to her with the scans.

"Dr. Robbins," she said. "Scans for-"

"Oh, Kevin," she said, looking at them. "No bleeding, no surgery needed. You got lucky, boy." She turned to Stephanie and said, "Keep an eye on him and if there are any changes page me. And what did Dr. Yang say?"

"Nothing serious there," She answered.

"Thank God," the blonde surgeon said. "I have surgery but keep me posted."

She scrubbed in and entered the OR room with her baby girl kicking shamelessly. Amelia was up in the gallery, watching her.

"Dr. Shepherd, to what do we owe the pleasure?" She said, looking up to her.

"I wanted to watch you perform the surgery. Plus, she's my patient too," Amelia said.

"Right, sure," Arizona laughed. She knew Amelia was watching her because she was afraid something might happen to her in the surgery, as if she wasn't in a room full of experienced people. "Don't you have surgery?"

"Not at the moment," Amelia said, smiling.

"Alright, ten blade, please," Arizona started.

Hours later they were in the bedroom, Arizona stretched out on the bed.

"You should've taken a break," Amelia said as she was changing into her pyjamas.

"I was fine," Arizona argued, crawling under the covers.

"Complications occurred; it was almost a 6 hour surgery. You almost fainted."

"I did not. I was fine. If you imply that I have to take it any slower because I'm pregnant, then you better take it back. I'm perfectly capable to do what I used to until now, as I will be after the pregnancy," Arizona said. "Besides, the patient's in the ICU, alive and well. That's what matters."

"Alright boss," Amelia said, climbing up the bed and kissing her. "Have it your way," she said, putting her hand on Arizona's stomach. "Oh God," she said, feeling her kicks. "She's strong."

"Oh, yes, _very_."

"Hey baby girl, I heard you're quite active," she talked to the baby. "But your mom is very strong; stubborn, but strong. You're very lucky to have her as a mother. Me, on the other side, we'll see."

Arizona nudged her shoulder softly, "Hey, don't say that."

Amelia laughed. "Okay, okay, I'll be good too. I'll do my very best," She continued with her low, soft voice. "But we'll be a family all together and one thing I can promise: that you'll be loved and you'll have a village by your side. Okay, that's two things. See? Even better."

"You'll be a great mother, Amelia," Arizona said, as Amelia pulled herself up and looked into Arizona's eyes again. She smiled and Arizona cuddled into her arms, holding her belly with one hand. Amelia put her hand over Arizona's and they fell asleep shortly, despite the baby's constant kicks. It just made them feel safer, to know that she's there and she's okay.


	13. Chapter 13

In a few days, on Saturday morning, Arizona got up earlier to go pick up Sofia from the airport. When her alarm woke her, she got up with a wide smile on her face. She kissed Amelia on the cheek softly and went to take a shower.

"Good morning," she said, as Amelia made her way into the kitchen. After she'd taken a relaxing shower she needed a good coffee, so that she can properly start her day. "I have to go pick up Sofia."

"Right, yes. I'm going to buy the tree and get the decorations down so that when you two arrive, we can arrange the house."

"Perfect, you're a genius," Arizona said.

"I know, baby, thank you," she smiled. "Mind if I'll get a smaller tree?"

"Not at all. Sofia loves it when it's her own size."

"That's just cute. You should go, get there early."

"You're right. I'll go change," she said, going to get ready.

Arizona was waiting at the airport nervously, tapping her foot. She had to sit down because the baby got active again, but as soon as she saw Sofia running towards her she jumped up, hugging her child. "Mommy, I really missed you," Sofia said and Arizona felt like tearing up again, but this time she was just really happy. "I missed you too, Sof."

"Hey Arizona," Callie said as she approached her as well. Arizona was wearing a black shirt, so the bump wasn't so visible but Callie gave her a small hug and as soon as she felt the baby bump she backed away, surprised.

"Wait, you're not…" Callie started saying, fairly confused. "You're pregnant?"

Arizona nodded and gave her a big smile.

"So things are going good with Amelia then," she said.

"They're going really great," Arizona admitted proudly.

"Oh, my God! Congratulations!" Callie hugged her again.

"I'll have a sister!" Sofia said excitedly.

"A girl?! You knew about this and you didn't tell me? So sneaky," said Callie, joking. "Alright, I think I have to go. Plane's taking off soon."

"Don't go, Mama," said Sofia, hugging her mother tight. Arizona's heart broke a little more, yet again. "Stay for a few days."

"Oh, I really wish I could, Sof," Callie said. "But I have to go. We'll talk, alright?" Sofia nodded, but she started crying. Arizona was afraid that with every departure from one of her mothers, little bits broke inside Sofia too, even though she was just a kid. A kid needed both of her parents, after all. "I love you so much." Callie let her go and after she kissed her cheek one last time and smiled to Arizona sadly, with watery eyes, she turned and left. Sofia hugged her other mom tight, still crying a bit. Arizona's heart hurt seeing her child suffer like this, but there weren't choices to pick from, so she just held her as Amelia held her after Sofia left.

Once they were in the car and Sofia was feeling a bit better, she asked her mother, "Did you pick out a name yet?"

"Not yet. Amy and I were thinking we all should decide together."

"Where is Amy?" the kid asked, remembering Amelia was now in their family.

"She's buying a Christmas tree," Arizona answered.

"One my size?"

"Exactly." Sofia giggled and Arizona smiled at her child.

Soon they pulled into the driveway and entered the house while chattering about New York and how Sofia spent her time.

"Well hello there," Amelia said once she appeared from the kitchen.

"Amy!" Sofia ran to her and Amelia picked her up, hugging her happily, like she was her child. Seeing this go on in front of her, Arizona was more than sure that Amelia was going to be a fantastic mother. When she put her down, Sofia ran to her room and let out a loud and happy scream.

"She's so cute," Amelia replied.

"She is. Hello," Arizona said, approaching and kissing her.

Amelia touched her belly, saying, "How are we?"

"We are great," Arizona replied. Amelia really knew how to take care of her.

They gathered around the small, but perfect Christmas tree and started decorating it and while they were at it, they started discussing child names.

After several rejected options, Amelia said, "Okay, last possible name I can think of right now: Kathryn."

"I like it! Can I call her Kate?"

"Yes you can," Amelia said, smiling to the fact that Sofia liked it.

"Kathryn… I love it," Arizona said.

"Then Kathryn it is."

They all laughed and continued to arrange the house. They all liked Christmas, Sofia especially, as a kid. Neither Arizona nor Amelia have had a big Christmas in a long time and they were both more than happy to have spent it this way.

 _4 MONTHS LATER_

"Alright Arizona, one more push," said the doctor who was helping her through her birth. She's had almost a perfect pregnancy, the baby coming out at the due date and having no complications. Arizona pushed, squeezing Amelia's tighter. Amelia was there, by her side, helping her through the rough part. "And you're done. Great job, Arizona."

The baby had come out, Arizona was okay and everything was good. Except… the baby wasn't crying. "What's happening? Why isn't she crying?" Arizona asked. "Let me check her, please."

"Arizona, sit back," Amelia said.

"I'm a pediatric and fetal surgeon, I can see what's wrong," she said, trying to stand up.

"Arizona, you just gave birth. Sit back and let us do the job," the doctor said.

"Okay, but… what's her Apgar score?"

"Give me a minute," the doctor said. Arizona shut her eyes, trying not to cry.

"It's okay, just breathe," Amelia said, caressing her forehead.

"Score's 5," the doctor answered, after what seemed like an eternity to the two mothers.

"Ah, that's low," Arizona said.

"Hey, look at me," said Amelia, but Arizona's eyes were still closed. " _Look at me_!" When she finally did, Amelia took back her soft tone. "She's fine, 5 is good. Stop being a doctor for a second and be her mother."

"Amelia, she's not crying," Arizona said, her voice weak.

"She will be," she answered. They waited and when the newborn's cries filled the room, both women sighed in relief and smiled.

"What did I tell you?"

"Arizona, the baby-"the doctor started saying.

"Kathryn. Her name is Kathryn," Amelia said.

"Kathryn is stable and good, but she needs a chance to get a little stronger."

"I know," Arizona said.

"Then you'll also know that we'll take you up to rest and we'll take care of Kathryn and bring her to you when she's stronger."

"Yeah, I was afraid you'll say that."

"I'll have a nurse take you up to your room, alright?"

Arizona nodded. They came at Grey Sloan Memorial, of course, so she knew the halls; she knew the room they were taking her in and what was near it.

"The attending's lounge is close, go take a nap," said Arizona to Amelia once they were up in the room.

"I'm okay, I'm not leaving," Amelia said. "I'll sit right here," she continued, taking a seat next to the bed.

"I might be stubborn, but you're no different," Arizona told her.

"I know. Now rest, you were very good in there," Amelia kissed her softly and Arizona dozed off almost immediately. Sofia was dropped off at Meredith's in their way to the hospital, so she wasn't a worry for the moment.

Arizona slept for about two hours and Amelia did for one, her head resting on the bed. When she woke up, she asked the nurse about Kathryn -Kate- and he went to get some answers. After a while, the doctor came in with her and silently told Amelia that the baby was fine and her heartbeat and pulse were strong. Amelia took her daughter in her arms and took her time to look at her face, at her peaceful, sleeping expression and smiled widely. Arizona woke up to see Amelia pacing through the room, holding Kate in her arms, smiling at her and talking to her quietly.

"How is she?" Arizona asked, once she was fully awake.

"She's perfect," Amelia answered with her smile still on. She came to her bed and gave her their daughter. "Kathryn Robbins Shepherd."

"She's perfect," Arizona said, looking at her sleeping daughter.

"She's got your blue eyes and smile. Just wait to see her smile," Amelia said. She climbed in the bed next to Arizona and kissed her softly.

"We've got a family."

"We've got a family."

Once Sofia met her sister and both kids were put to bed, Amelia and Arizona laid in the bed together. "Should we have a party soon?" Arizona asked. Though exhausted, she was excited. Excited for the way life would unfold from now on.

"Once she's big and strong enough, yes. The village wants to meet her," Amelia said, laughing.

"Great then," Arizona said. "Oh God, it was a long day," Arizona said as she cuddled into Amelia's arms again. It was warm and safe and she felt at her best there.

"It was," Amelia answered thoughtfully. "You know, I've finally found my home."

"Well, I hope it's this," Arizona joked.

"Close enough. It's you," Amelia said. She said and Arizona turned to face her. "You're my home." She kissed her strong and surely.

"I'm glad we feel the same way about each other," Arizona smiled and looking into Amelia's eyes she fell in love with so easily, she was more than certain of every single word she said.

So this story has come to an end, but I wanna thank everyone who read it, and thank you for all the support! I hope you liked it, because I surely loved writing it. I will always ship these two, no matter what actually happens on Grey's. I will continue writing other stories too, so stay tuned :)


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